I have been so extremely underused these past few weeks. You would think that with all this free time, I would be halfway done with writing my book, have all my laundry and that of my neighbors done, and have my sock drawer organized, but alas, 'tis not the case.
Other than waiting by the phone for my boss to call and tell me my paperwork went through, I have pretty much been sleeping. I have the cordless phone next to my bed just in case my boss calls, though, so I'm doing my part. I am continually amazed at the bureaucracy of our government. See, that's why I'm waiting, b/c I work for the government. Technically, I couldn't stay on b/c technically I had the same job number as the person I was covering for, so technically I had to be off until the person I was covering for next actually was on leave. Well, that was technically two weeks ago (when he had his surgery). Now no one is doing his job. And so while I technically can't be working, they are still technically paying me. I'm not joking. They have yet to take me off payroll, or to change my permissions so I can still log on to the government system and have access to that information. That's our government. All those technicalities.
So with all this time on my hands, I've been thinking about my future. I have been accepted to a Masters program in Northern Ireland. I had deferred enrolment to this year, so now the course begins in October. I feel I would really enjoy the subject matter, and that it would definitely broaden my horizons, but my ultimate goal is to go to law school.
As I was thinking about the course my life may take, I remembered when I was studying in Dublin three years ago, and met a nun from Ethiopia. She was taking the course and staying at a local order and had been travelling around for some time. There was also a priest in the class, who I did not know was a priest until a little ways into the course. When I realized people who lived life in their faith could really live a life, I started to think that maybe that was the life for me. I love doing service work, travelling, learning, sharing. Last night when I was thinking again about this, I thought, "I love my life, except for the men part". The men in my life are always causing me undue drama and heartache, and if I could live a life without that, maybe then my heart would be fulfilled. Then I had to really think, years from now, will I be happy laying in my bed alone? The cynical part of me thought that's a very real possibility with or without living in the order. Even if I were to find someone and get married, who knows how long it will last. Who knows if it will be happy.
I remember watching a newsmagazine story about a movie star from the 50s who gave it all up to become a nun. She said that the first seven years were hard. SEVEN YEARS! Goodness me, it seems most people could get used to anything after seven years. She had a fiancee at the time she went into the order, and he never married and goes to visit her every week. I thought that was the saddest thing ever. It made me think that maybe that wasn't her calling...
So I want to be a lawyer and possibly a nun. That led me to ask "can a nun be a lawyer?" I've been told the answer is yes. Whether or not becoming a nun is the right path for me is a question not so easily answered.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Sunday, September 11, 2005
Sunday morning
It's 5 a.m. and the newspaper is not here yet. The newspaper is usually here right after bedtime! What, is he sleeping in today or something? I've got my mind set on getting that paper before I go to sleep and at this rate, I'll be watching the sun rise.
Never mind that I, myself, never got up this early in my paper route days. Oh no, a girl needs her beauty sleep, you know? Yeah, I was lucky if I got 'em out before school started. You know, punctuality just isn't my thing. After years of trying to fit into that whole "on time" box, I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm not that kind of person. I have great ideas and work hard, don't get me wrong, but if I had to punch a time clock, I'd be late ten out of ten times.
And dissatisfaction - nope, can't deal with it. I can't just grin and bear things. If I'm not 100% behind something, I'm not doing it. When I was working at a clothing store, each employee had to meet a certain quota for store credit card applications. I refused to solicit them. I always made my sales goals by a mile, because I believed in the clothes, but these credit cards - no way. You can only use them at that store, they have outrageously high finance rates and even just applying puts that mark on your credit report. Other employees had no shame and would solicit the cards to people who didn't speak English, seriously learning disabled individuals, anyone whose hand they could shove a pen into.
When I worked for a community action agency who cared less about the people it served and more about getting more publicity - I stayed on for the money, following advice from employment agencies and family and friends. I hated it, didn't agree with the principles, but forced myself to go every day. This is when my body took over and said, "listen, bitch, we ain't going in today". First, I fell and was on disability for several months. After months of physical therapy and drugs, I forced myself to go back to work. A few weeks later, I was in the hospital with a fast heart rate. After I was released, I forced myself to go back. Then in the mornings, I started to have these odd symptoms like chattering teeth, chest pains and could not physically go to work. This was the onset of my anxiety. I learned a good, hard lesson from that that I won't soon forget.
So when I was chatting online to Ronan today and he carried on with his typical b.s., I knew I had enough. I was no longer 100% behind a relationship with him, and I could not go back. Not for anything. I know what the right decision for me is, but if, for some reason, I go against it, for whatever reason, my body will catch up with me and let me know that it's not right. I'm not going to let that happen for a boy. Not again. Finally I realize that the most important person in my life is me.
Never mind that I, myself, never got up this early in my paper route days. Oh no, a girl needs her beauty sleep, you know? Yeah, I was lucky if I got 'em out before school started. You know, punctuality just isn't my thing. After years of trying to fit into that whole "on time" box, I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm not that kind of person. I have great ideas and work hard, don't get me wrong, but if I had to punch a time clock, I'd be late ten out of ten times.
And dissatisfaction - nope, can't deal with it. I can't just grin and bear things. If I'm not 100% behind something, I'm not doing it. When I was working at a clothing store, each employee had to meet a certain quota for store credit card applications. I refused to solicit them. I always made my sales goals by a mile, because I believed in the clothes, but these credit cards - no way. You can only use them at that store, they have outrageously high finance rates and even just applying puts that mark on your credit report. Other employees had no shame and would solicit the cards to people who didn't speak English, seriously learning disabled individuals, anyone whose hand they could shove a pen into.
When I worked for a community action agency who cared less about the people it served and more about getting more publicity - I stayed on for the money, following advice from employment agencies and family and friends. I hated it, didn't agree with the principles, but forced myself to go every day. This is when my body took over and said, "listen, bitch, we ain't going in today". First, I fell and was on disability for several months. After months of physical therapy and drugs, I forced myself to go back to work. A few weeks later, I was in the hospital with a fast heart rate. After I was released, I forced myself to go back. Then in the mornings, I started to have these odd symptoms like chattering teeth, chest pains and could not physically go to work. This was the onset of my anxiety. I learned a good, hard lesson from that that I won't soon forget.
So when I was chatting online to Ronan today and he carried on with his typical b.s., I knew I had enough. I was no longer 100% behind a relationship with him, and I could not go back. Not for anything. I know what the right decision for me is, but if, for some reason, I go against it, for whatever reason, my body will catch up with me and let me know that it's not right. I'm not going to let that happen for a boy. Not again. Finally I realize that the most important person in my life is me.
Red headed pain
From CNN.com
Redheaded Women Have a Unique Ability
Blondes may have more fun, but redheaded women have a special quality that is as unique as their hair color. They have an innate ability to tolerate more pain than other people.
In studies on "redhead" mice, which actually have blonde fur but carry a similar gene to the one that causes red hair in humans, scientists from the Human Genetics Unit in Edinburgh, Scotland were able to target the pain-reducing mechanism. These red-haired mice have a similar ability as human female redheads to withstand higher pain thresholds compared with other mice and require less anesthetic to block out certain kinds of pain.
Read more
Redheaded Women Have a Unique Ability
Blondes may have more fun, but redheaded women have a special quality that is as unique as their hair color. They have an innate ability to tolerate more pain than other people.
In studies on "redhead" mice, which actually have blonde fur but carry a similar gene to the one that causes red hair in humans, scientists from the Human Genetics Unit in Edinburgh, Scotland were able to target the pain-reducing mechanism. These red-haired mice have a similar ability as human female redheads to withstand higher pain thresholds compared with other mice and require less anesthetic to block out certain kinds of pain.
Read more
There's more than one answer
MSNBC.com
Many evacuees go to black churches for help
Some Katrina victims frustrated with bureaucracy of government, charities
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9276824/
Many evacuees go to black churches for help
Some Katrina victims frustrated with bureaucracy of government, charities
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/9276824/
It's only usless 'til you use it
From The Hammond Times Newspaper
A word (a day) to the not-so-wise
This story ran on nwitimes.com on Sunday, January 19, 2003 12:22 AM CST
GREEK TO ME with Michael Raysses
Come the new year, a man's thoughts turn to, well, the new year. Thus, the calendar that I buy to mark time's passage is important to me, beyond making sure I am aware of the date. My calendar must reflect who I am and my relationship to time. (I know you're thinking: "Hey, Mike, it's just a calendar!")
But nothing is as easy as it used to be, so the prospect of picking out a calendar looms large. I don't want just a calendar on the wall above my desk; that would be too impersonal. I want something that climbs down off the wall, sits itself down next to my computer and communicates with me directly. I want a daily calendar; the kind I used to see in old movies -- pages flying off in a mad whirl to indicate the passage of time. Daily calendars, however, aren't what they used to be.
A trip to the bookstore revealed numerous daily calendars, each one dedicated to a specific topic or motif. There were daily calendars for the Civil War, ones with daily Bible quotes. Some were humorous ("The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said"), while others were more topical. There was an entire calendar dedicated to quotes from our current president titled "They Misunderestimated Me." Sometimes daily calendars overlap, and the good money says that of the aforementioned 365 stupidest things ever said, George W. is good for at least three solid months.
There also are daily calendars that seek to inspire ("Achieve Your Daily Dreams"), as well as those that prey on our deepest fears ("The Worst Case Scenario Daily Calendar"). And just when I had an idea for the perfect hybrid daily calendar for a dysfunctional society ("Achieve Your Daily Worst Case Scenario"), I saw my future, or at least the next 365 days worth in "All in a Word-a-Day" calendar.
"A Word-a-Day" calendar defines a different word for you every day. The good ones give you some insight into the roots of the word, how it evolved and its various uses. Being a writer, you'd think that would be a natural choice. But it runs much deeper than that.
As a kid, I read Marvel comic books. And although Captain America and Spider-Man captivated me, the superhero I most identified with was one of the original X-Men. His name was Beast. Now Beast was short and solid and strong, but the thing that drew me to him was the way he spoke. He had this amazing vocabulary. He would say things like "My pedal extremities are humongous." (Translation: I have big feet.) And though it meant he was on a different wavelength from those around him, it also distinguished him.
So deep was my connection to Beast that I took to talking like him for a while. It wasn't long before my third-grade teacher was sending notes home to my mom, asking her where I was learning so many words that no one else seemed to know the meaning of. And what trauma had I suffered that I was speaking so affectedly?
Years after I quit reading comic books, my dad was working around the house one day. He had his toolbox out; in it was a huge set of socket wrenches of all sizes. I pulled an odd-sized one out and asked him why he owned it. What purpose could a 13/16th-inch socket ever serve? He said something that stuck with me: He told me that particular socket was useless until the moment when he needed it. Then it became invaluable.
From that day on, that's how I saw words -- like sockets for a wrench. And I wanted a socket for every possible occasion. Nothing feels as good as wanting to describe something, to capture its essence, then to reach into some dark corner of your mind and pull out a word, clamp it onto the page, knowing you've achieved a snug fit.
There is one danger in conducting a love affair with words: Your affinity for them may blind you when it comes to using them effectively. And that in a feverish frisson, you will slather your writing with luxuriant terms and expressions, committing solecism after solecism, inviting jeremiads from those unwilling to overlook your literary peccadilloes. The underlying ratiocinations for this will forever remain a mystery to me. (Translation: A word a day can lead a writer astray, which isn't Greek to me.)
E-mail Michael Raysses at Majikrat@Earthlink.net.
A word (a day) to the not-so-wise
This story ran on nwitimes.com on Sunday, January 19, 2003 12:22 AM CST
GREEK TO ME with Michael Raysses
Come the new year, a man's thoughts turn to, well, the new year. Thus, the calendar that I buy to mark time's passage is important to me, beyond making sure I am aware of the date. My calendar must reflect who I am and my relationship to time. (I know you're thinking: "Hey, Mike, it's just a calendar!")
But nothing is as easy as it used to be, so the prospect of picking out a calendar looms large. I don't want just a calendar on the wall above my desk; that would be too impersonal. I want something that climbs down off the wall, sits itself down next to my computer and communicates with me directly. I want a daily calendar; the kind I used to see in old movies -- pages flying off in a mad whirl to indicate the passage of time. Daily calendars, however, aren't what they used to be.
A trip to the bookstore revealed numerous daily calendars, each one dedicated to a specific topic or motif. There were daily calendars for the Civil War, ones with daily Bible quotes. Some were humorous ("The 365 Stupidest Things Ever Said"), while others were more topical. There was an entire calendar dedicated to quotes from our current president titled "They Misunderestimated Me." Sometimes daily calendars overlap, and the good money says that of the aforementioned 365 stupidest things ever said, George W. is good for at least three solid months.
There also are daily calendars that seek to inspire ("Achieve Your Daily Dreams"), as well as those that prey on our deepest fears ("The Worst Case Scenario Daily Calendar"). And just when I had an idea for the perfect hybrid daily calendar for a dysfunctional society ("Achieve Your Daily Worst Case Scenario"), I saw my future, or at least the next 365 days worth in "All in a Word-a-Day" calendar.
"A Word-a-Day" calendar defines a different word for you every day. The good ones give you some insight into the roots of the word, how it evolved and its various uses. Being a writer, you'd think that would be a natural choice. But it runs much deeper than that.
As a kid, I read Marvel comic books. And although Captain America and Spider-Man captivated me, the superhero I most identified with was one of the original X-Men. His name was Beast. Now Beast was short and solid and strong, but the thing that drew me to him was the way he spoke. He had this amazing vocabulary. He would say things like "My pedal extremities are humongous." (Translation: I have big feet.) And though it meant he was on a different wavelength from those around him, it also distinguished him.
So deep was my connection to Beast that I took to talking like him for a while. It wasn't long before my third-grade teacher was sending notes home to my mom, asking her where I was learning so many words that no one else seemed to know the meaning of. And what trauma had I suffered that I was speaking so affectedly?
Years after I quit reading comic books, my dad was working around the house one day. He had his toolbox out; in it was a huge set of socket wrenches of all sizes. I pulled an odd-sized one out and asked him why he owned it. What purpose could a 13/16th-inch socket ever serve? He said something that stuck with me: He told me that particular socket was useless until the moment when he needed it. Then it became invaluable.
From that day on, that's how I saw words -- like sockets for a wrench. And I wanted a socket for every possible occasion. Nothing feels as good as wanting to describe something, to capture its essence, then to reach into some dark corner of your mind and pull out a word, clamp it onto the page, knowing you've achieved a snug fit.
There is one danger in conducting a love affair with words: Your affinity for them may blind you when it comes to using them effectively. And that in a feverish frisson, you will slather your writing with luxuriant terms and expressions, committing solecism after solecism, inviting jeremiads from those unwilling to overlook your literary peccadilloes. The underlying ratiocinations for this will forever remain a mystery to me. (Translation: A word a day can lead a writer astray, which isn't Greek to me.)
E-mail Michael Raysses at Majikrat@Earthlink.net.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
And it all came crashing down
I lost my job. About three hours ago. There was a voice mail from my supervisor, left at 9 pm on Sunday night. "You needn't come in to work tomorrow, thanks for your time."
I think my stomach hurts, but I'm kind of numb, so I'm not really sure.
Yes, there is another position coming up, but instead of me automatically getting this position, as was hoped, it is not going to be that easy. Of course not, this is government, nothing is easy.
To make a bureaucratic story short, I won't be working for approximately the next four weeks.
What the hell happened? Here I was, finally being a responsible adult with a decent paying wage and a bit of stability, looking towards buying a home, making my car payments, paying my student loans, and then, wow, I'm indigent again. Just like that.
Back to the free clinic instead of health insurance. Back to postponing paying bills. Back to begging the student loan people to not have my knee caps broken. Just. Like. That.
I think my stomach hurts, but I'm kind of numb, so I'm not really sure.
Yes, there is another position coming up, but instead of me automatically getting this position, as was hoped, it is not going to be that easy. Of course not, this is government, nothing is easy.
To make a bureaucratic story short, I won't be working for approximately the next four weeks.
What the hell happened? Here I was, finally being a responsible adult with a decent paying wage and a bit of stability, looking towards buying a home, making my car payments, paying my student loans, and then, wow, I'm indigent again. Just like that.
Back to the free clinic instead of health insurance. Back to postponing paying bills. Back to begging the student loan people to not have my knee caps broken. Just. Like. That.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Living Large
Ah yes, the high life. In a different city each day staying in nice hotels, carrying a laptop. Yep, I am officially an adult, or something like that. Really, though I am so tired and had far more fun staying at my friend's house last week then in this "posh" hotel and the king size bed in here only makes me feel lonely. "How many card keys will you require?" Umm, yes, that would be one. Yes, I am alone, yes there is no chance someone will need to slip into my room later, yes I feel like a loser.
Birthday Blues
I always get depressed around my birthday, I think. The night before, I usually do a sort of "inventory" of the past year and assess what has happened and what I would like for the next year. None of this is ever material assets, I should note. Well, before I could even get into my self reflective mode, I was faced with the realization that Jason has been lying to me for a very long time. I posted the email I received in the entry below. He admitted it to me and said he was sorry to lose me as a friend due to his own stupidity. (There are misplaced modifiers all over that last sentence, but hopefully you get the picture.
Well, not only did I read her words, but I saw photos as well. Photos of him with her; photos of him with her daughter. Photos of him in her house, in America, where he said he had never been. Photos with the woman he slept with, though he told me he hadn't slept with anyone. Photos with the family he swore he wanted, while he told me he could never settle down. Photos of a man who looked very much like a man I used to know, but realize now I never did.
Well, not only did I read her words, but I saw photos as well. Photos of him with her; photos of him with her daughter. Photos of him in her house, in America, where he said he had never been. Photos with the woman he slept with, though he told me he hadn't slept with anyone. Photos with the family he swore he wanted, while he told me he could never settle down. Photos of a man who looked very much like a man I used to know, but realize now I never did.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Another Betrayal
> Hey Sabrina
> You don't know me so i really don't expect you to believe me. But first of
> all i found out about you through a mutual "friend" and it is about that
> "friend" that i am writing to you about. That person is Jason Tracey, i am
> sure that when you next talk to him that he will probably tell you that i am
> jsut jealous cause he is not with me any more but that is not it, i jsut
> think that something needs to be done about him and i know i read about
> what he had done to you in you blog, the same thing and i am really sorry
> that you was treated that way. I guess that is something that we have in
> common. I met him as a pen pal and fell in love with him. He claimed that he
> felt the same way for me as well. He even came here (Utah) to visit me in
> January 2005. I then found out through a friend that lived there in Belfast
> that he was dating a woman named Angela. When i confronted him with it he
> denied it saying that they were only going to school together and had gone
> out for a drink to celebrate passing a test. It sounded reasonable enough
> since i knew that he had to take a exam the day that my friend saw them
> together so like a idiot i let it got. Then when he was here visiting again
> in May i found out through my monitoring program to keep track of what my
> daughter was doing on the PC i found out that he was still also with his
> "ex" girlfriend Donna. Once again i confronted him about being unfaithful (
> because we had been talkign about him moving here when he finished school
> and us getting married, kids and the whole 9 yards, i kept asking him if
> that was really what he wanted and he kept saying he knew it was with out a
> doubt that i was his soul mate and the only one that he wanted) and about
> lying to me about not being with any one else. He told me that she had
> tryied to OD when he dumped her a year and a half ago so he felt guilty and
> was just being her friend but she thought that they were more then friends.
> I told him that if that was really true then he was leading her on with it
> by calliing her "honey", "pet" and telling her that he missed her so much
> much and loved her. He told me that he would straighten it out when he got
> back home but never did. In the end i had to end up emailing her myself
> because he just kept telling me that he couldnt' get in touch with her, that
> she wouldn't answer his calls or emails while he was actually talking to
> her. We broke over that in the early part of June then around the end of
> June, during that time i lost his baby that i had gotten pregnant with in
> May. Thankfully i wasn't that far along not even quite a month but when i
> told him he acted or said that it hurt him terribly because he had wanted it
> and would have loved it so much. Then in the begining of July we decided to
> try to work things out and go on from there. Well while we were talking
> online to try to work things out i checked my email and i had this one from
> some friend of Angelas saying that she had sent him that email and thought
> that i should know what he ws being told and what he was up to. It was
> chewing him out over what he had done to Angela and some of the stuff in
> there was something only some one who had either slept with him or had been
> told by some one who had slept with him would know. The email itself is
> pretty disgusting or i would have just sent it to you. So there he was
> telling me that he hadn't slept with any one else since we had been together
> (10 months), didn't want to sleep with any one else, still wanted to marry
> me and all that. I told him that if he really wanted to work things out he
> would be honest with me and tell me exactly what happened and he kept
> telling me that he was being honest with me. Finally i told him that i KNEW
> he had slept with Angela and i am sure he slept with Donna too and if he
> would just admit it then we could have it in the open between us, work it
> out then put it in the past and move on from there. But he kept denying it
> so i told him about the email that i had got and the he had gotten the same
> one too. He asked me what email and i told him that i was sure that he
> already read it and i had gotten the same one, then told him a bit about it.
> Instead he just told me that i would never believe him and went ofline. I
> know that i sound like some jealous woman that can't get over being dumped
> for some one else but that is not why i am telling you this. I am telling
> you this because i think that us women need to stick together against these
> lying sack of shit men that just play with womens hearts and emotions like
> Jason does. Deep down i think that he is a good and loving man. But he lies,
> can't be honest at all and don't even know the meaning of the word faithful.
> I would just hate to see some one else get hurt by him like he hurt us. I
> think that maybe there has got to be some way to get him to really realize
> what he is doing is wrong, not just say that he knows it is wrong but to
> really realize it and stop. I think that some day he is really going to fall
> in love himself for real and the woman he falls for is going to do the same
> thing to him. Although i am still very hurt over what he did and yes very
> upset as well i will admit, i am still deeply in love with him and always
> will be so i dont' want him to go through this kind of pain. If you would
> like some proof that i do in fact know him and that i will be more then
> happy to send you some photos of us together.
> You don't know me so i really don't expect you to believe me. But first of
> all i found out about you through a mutual "friend" and it is about that
> "friend" that i am writing to you about. That person is Jason Tracey, i am
> sure that when you next talk to him that he will probably tell you that i am
> jsut jealous cause he is not with me any more but that is not it, i jsut
> think that something needs to be done about him and i know i read about
> what he had done to you in you blog, the same thing and i am really sorry
> that you was treated that way. I guess that is something that we have in
> common. I met him as a pen pal and fell in love with him. He claimed that he
> felt the same way for me as well. He even came here (Utah) to visit me in
> January 2005. I then found out through a friend that lived there in Belfast
> that he was dating a woman named Angela. When i confronted him with it he
> denied it saying that they were only going to school together and had gone
> out for a drink to celebrate passing a test. It sounded reasonable enough
> since i knew that he had to take a exam the day that my friend saw them
> together so like a idiot i let it got. Then when he was here visiting again
> in May i found out through my monitoring program to keep track of what my
> daughter was doing on the PC i found out that he was still also with his
> "ex" girlfriend Donna. Once again i confronted him about being unfaithful (
> because we had been talkign about him moving here when he finished school
> and us getting married, kids and the whole 9 yards, i kept asking him if
> that was really what he wanted and he kept saying he knew it was with out a
> doubt that i was his soul mate and the only one that he wanted) and about
> lying to me about not being with any one else. He told me that she had
> tryied to OD when he dumped her a year and a half ago so he felt guilty and
> was just being her friend but she thought that they were more then friends.
> I told him that if that was really true then he was leading her on with it
> by calliing her "honey", "pet" and telling her that he missed her so much
> much and loved her. He told me that he would straighten it out when he got
> back home but never did. In the end i had to end up emailing her myself
> because he just kept telling me that he couldnt' get in touch with her, that
> she wouldn't answer his calls or emails while he was actually talking to
> her. We broke over that in the early part of June then around the end of
> June, during that time i lost his baby that i had gotten pregnant with in
> May. Thankfully i wasn't that far along not even quite a month but when i
> told him he acted or said that it hurt him terribly because he had wanted it
> and would have loved it so much. Then in the begining of July we decided to
> try to work things out and go on from there. Well while we were talking
> online to try to work things out i checked my email and i had this one from
> some friend of Angelas saying that she had sent him that email and thought
> that i should know what he ws being told and what he was up to. It was
> chewing him out over what he had done to Angela and some of the stuff in
> there was something only some one who had either slept with him or had been
> told by some one who had slept with him would know. The email itself is
> pretty disgusting or i would have just sent it to you. So there he was
> telling me that he hadn't slept with any one else since we had been together
> (10 months), didn't want to sleep with any one else, still wanted to marry
> me and all that. I told him that if he really wanted to work things out he
> would be honest with me and tell me exactly what happened and he kept
> telling me that he was being honest with me. Finally i told him that i KNEW
> he had slept with Angela and i am sure he slept with Donna too and if he
> would just admit it then we could have it in the open between us, work it
> out then put it in the past and move on from there. But he kept denying it
> so i told him about the email that i had got and the he had gotten the same
> one too. He asked me what email and i told him that i was sure that he
> already read it and i had gotten the same one, then told him a bit about it.
> Instead he just told me that i would never believe him and went ofline. I
> know that i sound like some jealous woman that can't get over being dumped
> for some one else but that is not why i am telling you this. I am telling
> you this because i think that us women need to stick together against these
> lying sack of shit men that just play with womens hearts and emotions like
> Jason does. Deep down i think that he is a good and loving man. But he lies,
> can't be honest at all and don't even know the meaning of the word faithful.
> I would just hate to see some one else get hurt by him like he hurt us. I
> think that maybe there has got to be some way to get him to really realize
> what he is doing is wrong, not just say that he knows it is wrong but to
> really realize it and stop. I think that some day he is really going to fall
> in love himself for real and the woman he falls for is going to do the same
> thing to him. Although i am still very hurt over what he did and yes very
> upset as well i will admit, i am still deeply in love with him and always
> will be so i dont' want him to go through this kind of pain. If you would
> like some proof that i do in fact know him and that i will be more then
> happy to send you some photos of us together.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Too Much Information?
This article talks about some backlash bloggers have suffered due to their candor...
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Sabrina's Travels indeed
Today I am in Indianapolis and have been able to experience a little bit of this city. I was in a building working very near to our Capitol building. I got to drive around the "circle", which kind of reminded me of Trafalgar Square in London. Speaking of which, I cried this morning when I found out what had happened, but once I got hold of Phil, I was okay. I am still a bit concerned about some people from my old work, but the office is closed tomorrow, so I won't be able to get hold of them.
Anyhow, I also ate lunch at the canal, which is just named "the canal" and thought of going on one of the paddleboats in the future.
Tomorrow morning I leave Indianapolis and go to a much smaller town of Fowler. We'll see what things I see there.
Anyhow, I also ate lunch at the canal, which is just named "the canal" and thought of going on one of the paddleboats in the future.
Tomorrow morning I leave Indianapolis and go to a much smaller town of Fowler. We'll see what things I see there.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Another day, another new job
This week I will be starting a new temporary position. I will be keeping my post as Director of the day care, but I will also be working as a temporary licensing consultant, going around to day cares all across this lovely state ensuring they are up to par. I have to drive down to the state capitol (two and a half to three hours away) tomorrow and get all clued up and after that I have no idea where I will be based. The position is 80% travel and I am covering someone's maternity leave. The position is open until January, though, just in case the person does not immediately return and also b/c the status of one of her co-workers is up in the air. We shall see. Really I'm honored they even considered me for the position. Could this be a step up? Or another life experience to learn from? Or both?
Not tonight, hon, I've got a headache
I was so excited to be here, in America, for the 4th of July this year. It started off well enough, with my cousins from Tennesse coming over for a visit and we had fun (as shown in the photos below). Once we bid them adieu and night fell, though, my feelings changed and suddenly I wanted to be far, far away.
My head is killing me from all these frigging fireworks!
They are just popping off everywhere. People are in their front yards, backyards, driveways, wherever they can find, they are out there lighting explosives, often with small children with them. The air is smoky, but mostly what bugs me is that even though I am in my house, with my doors and windows closed, I can still here each and every firework set off within a few block radius. I put a pillow over my head and still I hear it. I go to the room with the fewest windows, no relief. I can't even see straight right now b/c of this headache. I keep having to go back and correct myself b/c I'm transposing words. And despite it being legal to sell and purchase fireworks in Indiana, it is illegal to light them. Somehow, I don't see this rule being enforced. Though, they could make a lot of money if they started writing tickets. However, I think they would have more serious problems on their hands if they pissed off a bunch of people with a penchant for lighting dynamite!
My head is killing me from all these frigging fireworks!
They are just popping off everywhere. People are in their front yards, backyards, driveways, wherever they can find, they are out there lighting explosives, often with small children with them. The air is smoky, but mostly what bugs me is that even though I am in my house, with my doors and windows closed, I can still here each and every firework set off within a few block radius. I put a pillow over my head and still I hear it. I go to the room with the fewest windows, no relief. I can't even see straight right now b/c of this headache. I keep having to go back and correct myself b/c I'm transposing words. And despite it being legal to sell and purchase fireworks in Indiana, it is illegal to light them. Somehow, I don't see this rule being enforced. Though, they could make a lot of money if they started writing tickets. However, I think they would have more serious problems on their hands if they pissed off a bunch of people with a penchant for lighting dynamite!
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Mr. Yucko
Received from my friend Ed via e-mail. I also heard that the waste was going to be transported via rail across the country, coming across our nice state as well.
This is spooky stuff. Its no secret but make yourself aware, this sounds like the biggest disaster ever waiting to happen.
This about sums it up: "Every possible solution has been explored, from dumping it in the ocean to launching it towards the sun. Finally, President Bush, the Department of Energy, and the U.S. Congress decided that all of that nuclear waste should be moved to Nevada and buried under a mountain in the middle of the desert."
CBS News Report
Government Report
This is spooky stuff. Its no secret but make yourself aware, this sounds like the biggest disaster ever waiting to happen.
This about sums it up: "Every possible solution has been explored, from dumping it in the ocean to launching it towards the sun. Finally, President Bush, the Department of Energy, and the U.S. Congress decided that all of that nuclear waste should be moved to Nevada and buried under a mountain in the middle of the desert."
CBS News Report
Government Report
I ain't never seen an *ss like that
You ever have one of those moments of realization where you learn something new and it stays with you forever? I've had a few. One was in 1994, when I was at a clothes store reaching up to the top rack. I caught a side view of myself in a mirror nearby, and was like "damn, my butt is big." Another was in 1996 when I was working at a clothes store and I was walking in, caught my view in our mirrors and thought "damn my stomach isn't flabby, it's just firm". In June 2005, I was in my kitchen, with the light off, but caught an glimpse of my shadow and thought, "daaaaaaaamn that's a big old ghetto booty".
In 1992, I saw a photo of myself and thought, wow, I look thin. Strange b/c when I looked at myself and in a mirror, I didn't think that at all. The same thing when I watched a home movie in 1990. I thought "there must be something wrong with this camera, b/c it makes me look skinny." Again in '92, I saw a polaroid of myself that had just been taken and thought, "my arms look like Skeletor." Yet, even then, with the snapshot of how I looked right at that moment, I didn't see it myself.
I wonder if the image I have of myself and the image others have of me will ever be the same? Probably not, but I don't think they'll ever even come close.
At group last week, we did this self esteem exercise and at the beginning of the session, we had to rate how we felt about ourselves with 1 being the lowest form of humanity and 10 being the best anyone could possibly feel about themselves. I said a 5. We then had to go around and write different positive qualities about other members of the group and then we had our own read to us. I was surprised by some of the things people had to say about me; particularly "enthusiastic" and "fun".
If you would have asked me a year ago, I might have used those words to describe myself. However, since getting back in touch with Mike (old high school boyfriend), I have really begun to think quite the opposite. Why? Well, basically, b/c he told me so - over and over again. That I wasn't fun, I was always serious, sad, etc. You hear something five times a day every day you start to believe it. Especially when it comes from someone you think knows you better than anyone else.
Recently, though, I have started to see that what he says doesn't always reflect the truth. I have been able to see him and what he says and does the way others do. The same thing has happened with Ronan, a few months ago. Something clicked in my brain and I suddenly saw what everyone else saw and then had no desire to maintain contact or even wish for a reconciliation.
You can always see when your friend is in a bad situation. You can tell them, "he's not worth it", "you deserve better". You find it hard to understand why she would be with such a person who obviously doesn't treat her right. Yet, when it is ourselves, we can't seem to see it. I am fortunate enough to have been able to see it for myself twice now. The spell has been lifted.
And it very well may have saved my life.
In 1992, I saw a photo of myself and thought, wow, I look thin. Strange b/c when I looked at myself and in a mirror, I didn't think that at all. The same thing when I watched a home movie in 1990. I thought "there must be something wrong with this camera, b/c it makes me look skinny." Again in '92, I saw a polaroid of myself that had just been taken and thought, "my arms look like Skeletor." Yet, even then, with the snapshot of how I looked right at that moment, I didn't see it myself.
I wonder if the image I have of myself and the image others have of me will ever be the same? Probably not, but I don't think they'll ever even come close.
At group last week, we did this self esteem exercise and at the beginning of the session, we had to rate how we felt about ourselves with 1 being the lowest form of humanity and 10 being the best anyone could possibly feel about themselves. I said a 5. We then had to go around and write different positive qualities about other members of the group and then we had our own read to us. I was surprised by some of the things people had to say about me; particularly "enthusiastic" and "fun".
If you would have asked me a year ago, I might have used those words to describe myself. However, since getting back in touch with Mike (old high school boyfriend), I have really begun to think quite the opposite. Why? Well, basically, b/c he told me so - over and over again. That I wasn't fun, I was always serious, sad, etc. You hear something five times a day every day you start to believe it. Especially when it comes from someone you think knows you better than anyone else.
Recently, though, I have started to see that what he says doesn't always reflect the truth. I have been able to see him and what he says and does the way others do. The same thing has happened with Ronan, a few months ago. Something clicked in my brain and I suddenly saw what everyone else saw and then had no desire to maintain contact or even wish for a reconciliation.
You can always see when your friend is in a bad situation. You can tell them, "he's not worth it", "you deserve better". You find it hard to understand why she would be with such a person who obviously doesn't treat her right. Yet, when it is ourselves, we can't seem to see it. I am fortunate enough to have been able to see it for myself twice now. The spell has been lifted.
And it very well may have saved my life.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
The Comedy of Tragedy
In late 2001, I had just moved to Dublin, Ireland and was living in a hostel, going on job interviews and looking for a place to live. I wasn't even particularly sure I wanted to stay in Dublin, and considered going to the other side of the country and stay in Galway. I had moved there from London, England, where I had just finished up working for the NSPCC on my BUNAC six month work permit. I really didn't want to leave, and working in Ireland for four months was really just an attempt to extend my stay abroad.
Less than a week into my Dublin stint, I got a call from my Mom. (One of my first orders of business upon arriving in Dublin was purchasing a cell phone.) Something was wrong, I could tell. She told me my brother Brian was in the hospital. He had tried to commit suicide.
I couldn't believe it. I told her I would come home right away.
Now, just a few short years later, his name is in the newspaper for very different reasons. Brian's comedy has been taking him all around the midwest and he even had a shot at a network sitcom (it wasn't picked up). Most importantly, though, he seems to be happy. He still has a "day job" in Chicago and plays softball on the weekends and hangs out with his girlfriend. He has really learned a lot from his past experiences and does not hesitate to speak to others about it. When someone says thank you for talking with them, he laughs and says, "that's all I know about, drinking, so I might as well talk about it".
And talk about it, he does, to hundreds of people, several nights a week. He is doing something he's always wanted to do and doing it well. I admire you, Brian, and I'm so proud.
Less than a week into my Dublin stint, I got a call from my Mom. (One of my first orders of business upon arriving in Dublin was purchasing a cell phone.) Something was wrong, I could tell. She told me my brother Brian was in the hospital. He had tried to commit suicide.
I couldn't believe it. I told her I would come home right away.
Now, just a few short years later, his name is in the newspaper for very different reasons. Brian's comedy has been taking him all around the midwest and he even had a shot at a network sitcom (it wasn't picked up). Most importantly, though, he seems to be happy. He still has a "day job" in Chicago and plays softball on the weekends and hangs out with his girlfriend. He has really learned a lot from his past experiences and does not hesitate to speak to others about it. When someone says thank you for talking with them, he laughs and says, "that's all I know about, drinking, so I might as well talk about it".
And talk about it, he does, to hundreds of people, several nights a week. He is doing something he's always wanted to do and doing it well. I admire you, Brian, and I'm so proud.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
What's My Age Again?
I didn't think that at the age of 27 I would have to worry about the men in my age bracket going for "younger" women. Well, apparently I was wrong. Mike, my old high school boyfriend, is now sleeping with an 18 year old. Do I even remember being 18? Yes, I vaguely remember talking to my friends about how now I couldn't try and climb up the water tower b/c I was officially an adult (and therefore would get in REAL trouble). She just graduated from high school last week. I'm going to my 10 year reunion next month.
Does this mean I'm officially old? Is is time for me to join the First Wives' Club even though I've never been married?
At a gathering a couple of months ago, someone said that a woman's eggs start to die when they turn 28. I was thinking, "wow, is it all downhill from here?" "Is that my biological clock I hear ticking?" "Shit, I don't even have a boyfriend!"
I asked my gynecologist about it and she said that is false. Well, what she said was that your eggs start dying off when you are born or something like that. I don't know, but she assured me that no, this was not the other side of the baby making hill I was on.
Which is another thing - I took a pregnancy test yesterday and again this morning b/c I haven't had my period in two months. They were both negative. I dreamt last night that this man who could see such things, looked at me, saw my uterus and said, "I don't know what kind of pregnancy tests you've been taking, but you are definitely expecting." Likely an anxiety dream, I know, but it was still so emotional.
Well now that the second test is negative, I'm starting to wonder if I can even become pregnant. I mean, I've been having sex for many years now and I've never been pregnant. True, that I have used protection, but my doctors keep telling me that I can't use only condoms b/c they are not reliable on their own. But I've not gotten pregnant.
I talked to one of my good old (meaning we've been friends for many years, not that she is old) friends about this and she said she had thought the same thing before she got pregnant with her child. Ronan once told me his ex had also thought that before getting pregnant with their child.
Wait a minute, now I remember Ronan was sleeping with a 17 year old when we broke up. Yes, it's all coming back to me now. Wow. And Mike was all judgemental about that when I talked to him about it, but you know what, she's 18 now, Mike, so it's okay, right?
I'm sure that I'm just overthinking this, I mean, what else is new? I just hope that one day I'll be with someone who wants to have a baby just as much as I do and we can start a family together.
That's not too much to ask, is it?
Well, I guess if the men with whom who want to have families are sleeping with 18 year olds, maybe it is.
Does this mean I'm officially old? Is is time for me to join the First Wives' Club even though I've never been married?
At a gathering a couple of months ago, someone said that a woman's eggs start to die when they turn 28. I was thinking, "wow, is it all downhill from here?" "Is that my biological clock I hear ticking?" "Shit, I don't even have a boyfriend!"
I asked my gynecologist about it and she said that is false. Well, what she said was that your eggs start dying off when you are born or something like that. I don't know, but she assured me that no, this was not the other side of the baby making hill I was on.
Which is another thing - I took a pregnancy test yesterday and again this morning b/c I haven't had my period in two months. They were both negative. I dreamt last night that this man who could see such things, looked at me, saw my uterus and said, "I don't know what kind of pregnancy tests you've been taking, but you are definitely expecting." Likely an anxiety dream, I know, but it was still so emotional.
Well now that the second test is negative, I'm starting to wonder if I can even become pregnant. I mean, I've been having sex for many years now and I've never been pregnant. True, that I have used protection, but my doctors keep telling me that I can't use only condoms b/c they are not reliable on their own. But I've not gotten pregnant.
I talked to one of my good old (meaning we've been friends for many years, not that she is old) friends about this and she said she had thought the same thing before she got pregnant with her child. Ronan once told me his ex had also thought that before getting pregnant with their child.
Wait a minute, now I remember Ronan was sleeping with a 17 year old when we broke up. Yes, it's all coming back to me now. Wow. And Mike was all judgemental about that when I talked to him about it, but you know what, she's 18 now, Mike, so it's okay, right?
I'm sure that I'm just overthinking this, I mean, what else is new? I just hope that one day I'll be with someone who wants to have a baby just as much as I do and we can start a family together.
That's not too much to ask, is it?
Well, I guess if the men with whom who want to have families are sleeping with 18 year olds, maybe it is.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
Fairies are Women
This is one of those email things that I received today;
A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish. "Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra...Two tickets for the new QM2 luxury
liner appeared in her hands. Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime. So I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife who is 30 years younger than me." The wife and the fairy were deeply
disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So, the fairy made a circle withher magic stick and - abracadabra! -
The husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men might be ungrateful ....
But fairies
are......
female.
Nicole Conner
A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish. "Ooh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband" said the wife. The fairy moved her magic stick and - abracadabra...Two tickets for the new QM2 luxury
liner appeared in her hands. Now it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said: "Well this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this only occurs once in a lifetime. So I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife who is 30 years younger than me." The wife and the fairy were deeply
disappointed, but a wish is a wish... So, the fairy made a circle withher magic stick and - abracadabra! -
The husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men might be ungrateful ....
But fairies
are......
female.
Nicole Conner
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Another Quarter Life Crisis
Hope everyone was able to get some time off this
holiday weekend. I am sick (just mucous everywhere) and I've found
myself pondering (again) whether my life (specifically my job) is
going in the right direction. As you know, I am running a day care.
The owner lives on a farm in Oklahoma. I worked with her my first
week and then ran the place by myself. This week is the first time
she has been back to the daycare since I started the position. It
started off with an all staff meeting Friday night which was supposed to put all the staff (sauf moi) in line b/c we had been considering firing everyone (long story). The first half of the meeting, I led and it was a business meeting and issues were brought up according to the agenda, discussed and resolved. Her half of the meeting was everyone spilling out all their feelings, no matter what they were, so that we could start anew. Well, this turned into the "I just got a free ticket to tell my boss where to go" part of the meeting - the boss being myself. I think it is only natural for most people to have some sort of resentment towards their boss at one time or another, especially in low level jobs, where it is not understood what exactly the boss does ("well, she's not down here changing diapers, she must
be chatting to her boyfriend on the phone") and also when I have taken on a new position. The problem, though, is when the owner(my boss) indulges these urges and gives them greater creedence than I really think they merit. Now, don't get me wrong, I know I've made mistakes - but the content of this meeting and the other times they've bitched about me to the owner have to do more with things like I didn't smile and say hello or I solved a problem over the phone instead of coming in on my day off.
Anyhow, I had the long weekend to get over that and come in today to find her sitting in "my" chair in the office and essentially just running around like a chicken with its head cut off, like she always did before, leaving tornadoes of confusion and disorganization behind her. However, when we were looking at a baby girls infected genitalia trying to figure out what it was and what we should do about it I realized I had no idea what the hell I was doing. And looking at her trying to solve this, I regained the perspective that this is her dream - she had wanted to have her own day care for 14 years. She left b/c she ran herself ragged and couldn't take it anymore. Also, her husband had some health problems. But I am a mere administrator.
This is not my dream. My dream is to leave something behind that is bigger than myself and my existence - she has already done that.
Well, that's pretty much what I had to say. What is up with all these existential quarter life crises? Geez louise! I thought I had it down this time for sure. Ah well, I suppose we shall see.
holiday weekend. I am sick (just mucous everywhere) and I've found
myself pondering (again) whether my life (specifically my job) is
going in the right direction. As you know, I am running a day care.
The owner lives on a farm in Oklahoma. I worked with her my first
week and then ran the place by myself. This week is the first time
she has been back to the daycare since I started the position. It
started off with an all staff meeting Friday night which was supposed to put all the staff (sauf moi) in line b/c we had been considering firing everyone (long story). The first half of the meeting, I led and it was a business meeting and issues were brought up according to the agenda, discussed and resolved. Her half of the meeting was everyone spilling out all their feelings, no matter what they were, so that we could start anew. Well, this turned into the "I just got a free ticket to tell my boss where to go" part of the meeting - the boss being myself. I think it is only natural for most people to have some sort of resentment towards their boss at one time or another, especially in low level jobs, where it is not understood what exactly the boss does ("well, she's not down here changing diapers, she must
be chatting to her boyfriend on the phone") and also when I have taken on a new position. The problem, though, is when the owner(my boss) indulges these urges and gives them greater creedence than I really think they merit. Now, don't get me wrong, I know I've made mistakes - but the content of this meeting and the other times they've bitched about me to the owner have to do more with things like I didn't smile and say hello or I solved a problem over the phone instead of coming in on my day off.
Anyhow, I had the long weekend to get over that and come in today to find her sitting in "my" chair in the office and essentially just running around like a chicken with its head cut off, like she always did before, leaving tornadoes of confusion and disorganization behind her. However, when we were looking at a baby girls infected genitalia trying to figure out what it was and what we should do about it I realized I had no idea what the hell I was doing. And looking at her trying to solve this, I regained the perspective that this is her dream - she had wanted to have her own day care for 14 years. She left b/c she ran herself ragged and couldn't take it anymore. Also, her husband had some health problems. But I am a mere administrator.
This is not my dream. My dream is to leave something behind that is bigger than myself and my existence - she has already done that.
Well, that's pretty much what I had to say. What is up with all these existential quarter life crises? Geez louise! I thought I had it down this time for sure. Ah well, I suppose we shall see.
Monday, May 30, 2005
I must have been in a cave over the past few weeks b/c I just heard about this performance today. Earlier this month, an artist named "Bright Eyes" sang a song called "When the President talks to God" on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Here is a link to one of the many sites talking about it and offering the video. I came across it at msn.video.com.
Wowee. I wonder what the real deal is - if Leno and his gang knew he was going to sing that or if he did switch it. Jay Leno was definitely tripping over his words after that performance.
Wowee. I wonder what the real deal is - if Leno and his gang knew he was going to sing that or if he did switch it. Jay Leno was definitely tripping over his words after that performance.
I am writing this letter b/c I am sick and can't talk :-( I know, pity isn't it? Mmmhmm. Otherwise, I'd be on the phone! It's so funny, though, b/c despite the fact my mom has seen me go through each phase of this sickness and knew my throat was getting worse and worse, when I didn't talk today, she was perturbed. I pointed to my throat, but then she kept asking me questions and when I replied with a gesture (like shaking the head, shrugging shoulders) she didn't seem to believe that I really couldn't talk. That's how it was last time I lost my voice a few months ago. People think you just PREFER to not talk, not that it will send you into a coughing fit that come from the bowels of your soul. Oh well.
Today is Memorial Day here. It used to be called Decoration Day b/c the tradition was to go to the graves of soldiers and place flowers there. It is a weird contrast, though, b/c everyone so looks forward to Memorial Day b/c of the day off work, the barbecues and the unofficial begin to summer. Not exactly what the originators had in mind, I suppose.
Well, I guess I'll be off for now. My stomach is growling and I am dreading having to eat knowing what it will do to my throat. Icky icky.
Hope all is well
Today is Memorial Day here. It used to be called Decoration Day b/c the tradition was to go to the graves of soldiers and place flowers there. It is a weird contrast, though, b/c everyone so looks forward to Memorial Day b/c of the day off work, the barbecues and the unofficial begin to summer. Not exactly what the originators had in mind, I suppose.
Well, I guess I'll be off for now. My stomach is growling and I am dreading having to eat knowing what it will do to my throat. Icky icky.
Hope all is well
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Wow, my last post was in January and here it is almost June! Well, I am still working at the child care facility. I oversee a staff of ten teachers and we have over fifty children enrolled. I make less than half of the pay I made working in an office in the city, but truthfully, it has been more than twice as rewarding.
Tomorrow I have two meetings - one with a health and safety specialist who will be reviewing our facility and another with an architect who will be reviewing other aspects of the facility. We are applying for a higher grade license, so we have to bring in the experts. Friday we have an all staff meeting and the owner is coming in from Oklahoma for the first time since I started the position. Sparks are going to fly, that is for sure and heads are gonna roll!
Before the staff meeting, though, I have a meeting with an insurance agent about possibily getting health insurance for the staff. Hmm... now that I think about it, maybe I should wait for this insurance meeting b/c something tells me I'm not going to have the same employees going into next week...
In the meantime, though, I have been enjoying my day off by hanging out with Licaroo, and I have been looking at pet adoption sites and wanted to share this one:
http://www.1-800-save-a-pet.com
Maybe you'll find the true love of your life there ;-)
Tomorrow I have two meetings - one with a health and safety specialist who will be reviewing our facility and another with an architect who will be reviewing other aspects of the facility. We are applying for a higher grade license, so we have to bring in the experts. Friday we have an all staff meeting and the owner is coming in from Oklahoma for the first time since I started the position. Sparks are going to fly, that is for sure and heads are gonna roll!
Before the staff meeting, though, I have a meeting with an insurance agent about possibily getting health insurance for the staff. Hmm... now that I think about it, maybe I should wait for this insurance meeting b/c something tells me I'm not going to have the same employees going into next week...
In the meantime, though, I have been enjoying my day off by hanging out with Licaroo, and I have been looking at pet adoption sites and wanted to share this one:
http://www.1-800-save-a-pet.com
Maybe you'll find the true love of your life there ;-)
Thursday, January 20, 2005
It’s snowing outside…again. I don’t think I was built for these Chicago winters. I think I need to go back to my native (by ancestry) Ireland where snow is more like a major event and less like a daily occurrence. Even Licorice didn’t want to go outside!
I have just accepted a position as Director of a local day care center. I will be starting next week. I am excited but nervous. I am taking the next few days to get my personal affairs in order before I start this full time job with a load of responsibility. I may even go to Northern Ireland for a visit. We shall see.
I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by things, though. I think, though, it's more the idea of things rather than the actual things themselves. Anticipation is always the worst. When I actually think of my job responsibilities, they are nothing that I haven't done before. I mean, I ran a store when I was 19, I can do this now, right? I really know that I can, or else I wouldn't have accepted the position, I just think it's the commitment I'm afraid of. I won't be able to sleep in when I want or fly off to places or have bad days in general. Well, I guess I can have bad days, but not often and I can't let it affect my work. I can no longer just hide underneath the covers when the world seems too overwhelming.
I have just accepted a position as Director of a local day care center. I will be starting next week. I am excited but nervous. I am taking the next few days to get my personal affairs in order before I start this full time job with a load of responsibility. I may even go to Northern Ireland for a visit. We shall see.
I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by things, though. I think, though, it's more the idea of things rather than the actual things themselves. Anticipation is always the worst. When I actually think of my job responsibilities, they are nothing that I haven't done before. I mean, I ran a store when I was 19, I can do this now, right? I really know that I can, or else I wouldn't have accepted the position, I just think it's the commitment I'm afraid of. I won't be able to sleep in when I want or fly off to places or have bad days in general. Well, I guess I can have bad days, but not often and I can't let it affect my work. I can no longer just hide underneath the covers when the world seems too overwhelming.
Monday, January 10, 2005
Tomorrow is my first day at a new job and I am nervous. Given my state of nausea at the moment, I would say pretty nervous. I haven't had stand up all day job in ages. Well, I guess I stood up when I worked with kids, but that was constant movement and there was some sitting down, too. Anyhow, tomorrow is only five hours, so hopefully I will be able to break myself in.
Okay, well I think my body is less upset about the new job and more upset about the mountain of McDonald's fries I ate tonight. Dang, I knew I shouldn't have eaten all of those. McDonald's has now gone from being my party friend to being my avoided enemy.
Also, the last time I worked in retail, I inadvertently lost weight, which is something I wouldn't mind doing at this point.
I have spent a large portion of tonight watching MTV and VH1. It was a whole lot of reality tv. I was watching Real World and Real World/Road Rules Challenge on MTV and the Surreal Life, Strange Love and the start of Celebrity Fit Club on VH1. I think this Surreal Life is going to be hilarious! I mean it has Peter Brady and Mini Me!
Well, it is getting late now, so I best pick out my clothes for my first day (just like a schoolgirl!) and get a good night's rest. I did my laundry like a good girl and even folded it and hung it up. Yay me! :-)
Okay, well I think my body is less upset about the new job and more upset about the mountain of McDonald's fries I ate tonight. Dang, I knew I shouldn't have eaten all of those. McDonald's has now gone from being my party friend to being my avoided enemy.
Also, the last time I worked in retail, I inadvertently lost weight, which is something I wouldn't mind doing at this point.
I have spent a large portion of tonight watching MTV and VH1. It was a whole lot of reality tv. I was watching Real World and Real World/Road Rules Challenge on MTV and the Surreal Life, Strange Love and the start of Celebrity Fit Club on VH1. I think this Surreal Life is going to be hilarious! I mean it has Peter Brady and Mini Me!
Well, it is getting late now, so I best pick out my clothes for my first day (just like a schoolgirl!) and get a good night's rest. I did my laundry like a good girl and even folded it and hung it up. Yay me! :-)
Thursday, January 06, 2005
I’ve decided to just pick up the site where I left off. Revamping it is too much of a project for me right now, and I’d rather have something than nothing. As a wise woman once told me, “When you live your life ‘all or nothing’, you usually end up with a whole lot of nothing”: Words to live by.
At the moment I am still here in America. I am reacquainting myself with neighbors and other people from my past. I had been moving around partially to avoid these people because they reminded me of parts of my past about which I’d rather not think. My adventure now is to confront my ghosts from which I’ve been running and deal with them head on. If I can go across the world to help others, I can stay right here at home to help myself: At least for awhile.
It has snowed the past two days and my Mom and brother have used the snowblower to clear walkways not only for our house, but also for both of our next door neighbors. The snowblower is a wonderful invention. Oh, me, did I go out there? Heavens no! I go out to walk to the car, to take Licorice out for a pee and to walk across the alley to my neighbor’s house. I’m not what one would call “a fan” of snow. I don’t deal with it well at all. You would think being from here I would have developed a thicker skin for this sort of thing, but nope. I think my Irish roots are too ingrained in me – or I’m just a wuss.
I have absolutely had it with men. Sandy (my across the alley neighbor) and I are going to get sweatpants with the words “Guys, kiss my ass” printed on the butt with a graphic of lips on the side, as if to say, “yeah, right HERE!” Earlier in the week, Bryan’s ex called me from the Dominican Republic and essentially busted him out because he wasn’t being exactly straightforward with either one of us. He got defensive, yelled at me and I haven’t spoken to him since. The SAME DAY Ronan called me from Northern Ireland to chat. He wants to get back together, but I have been reticent to accept his plea. After he changed his mind the first half dozen times, a girl tends to get a bit skeptical. He said that it’s been four months, hasn’t he proven himself yet? No, I said, because the second I say yes to you, I fear I will get a call or email from you the next day saying to forget about it. He had bad news, though, telling me that his application to Work in Canada was denied. If he wants to really be together, I don’t know how it could work with us a world away.
Then there’s Mike. Mike is my old high school boyfriend who I was oh so in love with and thought I was going to marry. I had not spoken to him in ten years and we recently got back in touch. Mike and I fight like cats and dogs. I don’t know what the hell it is, but he can push my buttons like I’m a microwave oven and he’s aluminum foil, and in less than a minute I EXPLODE. Yesterday, as he was bitching and moaning about life, I asked if he wanted to hang out today. He said it would be nice to chill and forget about things for awhile. Accordingly, I phoned today and invited him over to cook with my Mom and me and he says, “what?” I recall the previous day’s conversation and he says, “I don’t remember saying that, and if I did, I didn’t mean it.” I told him to fuck off and go back to his miserable little life and that was that.
So when Sandy hears all this mess, she suggests hooking me up with someone. I give her the evil eye and tell her that right now, guys can kiss my ass! Hence, the sweatpants idea (which was Sandy’s, I just added the lips.) So girls, if you’ve had it with the b.s. guys are slinging our way, contact me to order your very own pair of ‘kiss my ass’ sweatpants! I’m sure they’re great to wear when plowing snow. ;-)
At the moment I am still here in America. I am reacquainting myself with neighbors and other people from my past. I had been moving around partially to avoid these people because they reminded me of parts of my past about which I’d rather not think. My adventure now is to confront my ghosts from which I’ve been running and deal with them head on. If I can go across the world to help others, I can stay right here at home to help myself: At least for awhile.
It has snowed the past two days and my Mom and brother have used the snowblower to clear walkways not only for our house, but also for both of our next door neighbors. The snowblower is a wonderful invention. Oh, me, did I go out there? Heavens no! I go out to walk to the car, to take Licorice out for a pee and to walk across the alley to my neighbor’s house. I’m not what one would call “a fan” of snow. I don’t deal with it well at all. You would think being from here I would have developed a thicker skin for this sort of thing, but nope. I think my Irish roots are too ingrained in me – or I’m just a wuss.
I have absolutely had it with men. Sandy (my across the alley neighbor) and I are going to get sweatpants with the words “Guys, kiss my ass” printed on the butt with a graphic of lips on the side, as if to say, “yeah, right HERE!” Earlier in the week, Bryan’s ex called me from the Dominican Republic and essentially busted him out because he wasn’t being exactly straightforward with either one of us. He got defensive, yelled at me and I haven’t spoken to him since. The SAME DAY Ronan called me from Northern Ireland to chat. He wants to get back together, but I have been reticent to accept his plea. After he changed his mind the first half dozen times, a girl tends to get a bit skeptical. He said that it’s been four months, hasn’t he proven himself yet? No, I said, because the second I say yes to you, I fear I will get a call or email from you the next day saying to forget about it. He had bad news, though, telling me that his application to Work in Canada was denied. If he wants to really be together, I don’t know how it could work with us a world away.
Then there’s Mike. Mike is my old high school boyfriend who I was oh so in love with and thought I was going to marry. I had not spoken to him in ten years and we recently got back in touch. Mike and I fight like cats and dogs. I don’t know what the hell it is, but he can push my buttons like I’m a microwave oven and he’s aluminum foil, and in less than a minute I EXPLODE. Yesterday, as he was bitching and moaning about life, I asked if he wanted to hang out today. He said it would be nice to chill and forget about things for awhile. Accordingly, I phoned today and invited him over to cook with my Mom and me and he says, “what?” I recall the previous day’s conversation and he says, “I don’t remember saying that, and if I did, I didn’t mean it.” I told him to fuck off and go back to his miserable little life and that was that.
So when Sandy hears all this mess, she suggests hooking me up with someone. I give her the evil eye and tell her that right now, guys can kiss my ass! Hence, the sweatpants idea (which was Sandy’s, I just added the lips.) So girls, if you’ve had it with the b.s. guys are slinging our way, contact me to order your very own pair of ‘kiss my ass’ sweatpants! I’m sure they’re great to wear when plowing snow. ;-)
Thursday, August 19, 2004
Hope everyone is well. Things are picking up over here in the Chi-town area, which is why I haven't been able to post in awhile. I am working part time in an office on the north side. I am dating someone named Bryan who is great. I'm just settling in a whole lot more, which brings me to my next point. Sabrina's Travels are over; for now anyways. My adventures in the UK are done and I am living a new life here in the city, so this blog will be ending. I may start a new one about life as a twenty-something woman in Chicago and the ups and down of trying to move up in the career world and applying for law school. We'll see.
I debated over whether to post this or not, but Ronan is having (another) baby with his (first) baby's momma's 17 year old (former) friend. Yes, it is legal in the UK to have sex with a 17 year old. Since I have no contact with him at all, that was another reason to end this blog, b/c nothing mentioned previously here is really relevant to my life anymore. I do still chat to Jason occasionally, but less and less now. I hope he does come to visit because he's never been to the U.S. and I think it would be cool.
In the meantime, though, the closest I'll get to Ireland will be at this weekend's Irish Fest in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Bryan and I are driving up there Saturday morning.
So thanks to everyone who read this journal, and I hope you enjoyed the journey as much I did.
Remember "take care of yourself and each other." :-)
Jerry Springer
I debated over whether to post this or not, but Ronan is having (another) baby with his (first) baby's momma's 17 year old (former) friend. Yes, it is legal in the UK to have sex with a 17 year old. Since I have no contact with him at all, that was another reason to end this blog, b/c nothing mentioned previously here is really relevant to my life anymore. I do still chat to Jason occasionally, but less and less now. I hope he does come to visit because he's never been to the U.S. and I think it would be cool.
In the meantime, though, the closest I'll get to Ireland will be at this weekend's Irish Fest in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Bryan and I are driving up there Saturday morning.
So thanks to everyone who read this journal, and I hope you enjoyed the journey as much I did.
Remember "take care of yourself and each other." :-)
Jerry Springer
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
I looked up the meanings of my dreams online and they all point to this:
The heart requires emotional flow to stay balanced and healthy. Emotional problems only lead to physical problems if balance is not restored. The flow must be in both directions! People who constantly give of themselves and never receive are as likely to develop physical problems as those who never give.
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I guess Ronan was right when he said I give too much. It can't be good for my psyche. Well, right now I'm feeling really down about myself, and I'm supposed to go out with this guy tomorrow night and all I really feel like doing is hiding in my room. I'll go; I'm feeling better now than earlier, but I hate feeling like this. It comes and goes but boy does it come when I am staying at my parents' house. I'm sure loads of people feel that way and have that kind of relationship with their parents. Well, at least if I believe what I see on TV, I think so.
From www.avcweb.com
The circulatory system is affected by our female energy and because of this we see dreams often link problems in this area with mother. Mother may not have bonded properly with us at birth and because of this as an infant we feel unloved. A new infant learns how to love from mother. If mother does not give love unconditionally (e.g. white heart presented to dreamer in dream) the dreamer has missed out on a vital lesson which is likely to lead to difficulty with understanding his/her own feelings. The normal reaction is to suppress the negative feelings or lack of love from mother and to rationalize things instead of feeling them. People who operate this way find it difficult to show compassion towards others. They show love in the way they learned. If you live up to my expectations then I'll love you - if you fall short of my standards I'll withdraw my love.
The heart requires emotional flow to stay balanced and healthy. Emotional problems only lead to physical problems if balance is not restored. The flow must be in both directions! People who constantly give of themselves and never receive are as likely to develop physical problems as those who never give.
------------------------------------------
I guess Ronan was right when he said I give too much. It can't be good for my psyche. Well, right now I'm feeling really down about myself, and I'm supposed to go out with this guy tomorrow night and all I really feel like doing is hiding in my room. I'll go; I'm feeling better now than earlier, but I hate feeling like this. It comes and goes but boy does it come when I am staying at my parents' house. I'm sure loads of people feel that way and have that kind of relationship with their parents. Well, at least if I believe what I see on TV, I think so.
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
I never realized how much I used my glasses until I lost them. Owwee, my head hurts. I am searching and applying for jobs online and I really need those specs. How I managed to lose them when I keep them in a big ass shiny silver glasses case is beyond me. That's almost as bad as when I lost my driver's license the day after I got it renewed. Hey, I found it, so it all worked out in the end. The really funny thing, though, was although I had to get the license renewed anyways, I didn't have my old one because it got lost with my wallet in Manchester. D'oh!
My eyeballs are really killing me here, so I can't stand any more unnecessary time at the computer. Oh, I did visit the new Millenium Park in Chicago, and though I previously thought it sucked when seeing it on TV and from a distance, but when I went and experienced it, it was pretty nifty. I can actually see why the sculpture is called Cloudgate instead of 'the bean', too. ;-)
Hope all is well with everyone.
Best,
Sabrina :-)
My eyeballs are really killing me here, so I can't stand any more unnecessary time at the computer. Oh, I did visit the new Millenium Park in Chicago, and though I previously thought it sucked when seeing it on TV and from a distance, but when I went and experienced it, it was pretty nifty. I can actually see why the sculpture is called Cloudgate instead of 'the bean', too. ;-)
Hope all is well with everyone.
Best,
Sabrina :-)
Saturday, July 31, 2004
When I was a teenager, I thought I knew everything. Most people are like this as teenagers. You're learning all this new information and it's all fresh in your mind, and it's stuff your parents don't know, and you actually know some of the answers on Jeopardy. You think you're the smartest person around. When you get college, you realize you don't know jack. In fact, after a year or two in college you realize that the more you learn the more you realize how little you know.
I was at that stage for quite awhile. Now I am back to the idea, not that I know everything, but that most people know very little and it's actually quite frightening. I ask my doctor questions he cannot answer. I go to workshops and correct the trainers. I think that something has hidden symbolism that is above my intelligence and find out it is really just nonsense. It is getting a bit disconcerting. I read transcripts of congressional hearings and see that important decisions are not based on facts or research, but on the personal views of those discussing the matter. Why isn't more research done on proposals before they are put into practice? Why don't think get tried in small doses before they go nationwide? I mean, if Taco Bell and Burger King can do regional tryouts for a new menu item, surely Congress can try it for major legislation.
But then again, maybe I just have no idea what I'm talking about and they really do know what they're doing... umm maybe.
I was at that stage for quite awhile. Now I am back to the idea, not that I know everything, but that most people know very little and it's actually quite frightening. I ask my doctor questions he cannot answer. I go to workshops and correct the trainers. I think that something has hidden symbolism that is above my intelligence and find out it is really just nonsense. It is getting a bit disconcerting. I read transcripts of congressional hearings and see that important decisions are not based on facts or research, but on the personal views of those discussing the matter. Why isn't more research done on proposals before they are put into practice? Why don't think get tried in small doses before they go nationwide? I mean, if Taco Bell and Burger King can do regional tryouts for a new menu item, surely Congress can try it for major legislation.
But then again, maybe I just have no idea what I'm talking about and they really do know what they're doing... umm maybe.
Friday, July 30, 2004
I have an interview for a legal assistant position on Monday. Woohoo! It's so weird how every time I start leaning towards thinking "well, maybe I should go back to Northern Ireland", something like this happens that starts keeping me here. I also have an appointment to see a room in an apartment on the very same block where I grew up in Chicago. I would be across the street from the building where I spent my formative years. I'll be going to check out that place on Sunday afternoon. I really would like to drive there, but I remember parking was hellacious over that way... We shall see.
Thursday, July 29, 2004
So Jason says he may come to visit me at the end of the year. Yippee! My Mom and Dad get comp slips from the casino for free hotel stays, so I asked Momma if I could have one for me and Jay and she agreed. Woohoo! Jason has been such a good friend to me ever since the first day we met each other. He has always been kind, non judgmental, and helped me come closer to accepting myself, because I see how he just accepts me as I am, as a person, not a mental case or a chick with baggage - just a person. I would go as far to say that aside from seeing an uncircumsized penis, meeting Jason was the absolute highlight of my time in Northern Ireland. I'm sure he's flattered ;-) Once he finishes his Master's degree he is considering working abroad, as he can make a lot more money is his field (biomedical science) elsewhere. He hinted at even working in Chicago. Whether or not he was serious remains to be seen. With each day holds new possibilities...
I am a step closer to getting that job teaching computers and I am so nervous. I nearly fainted when I found out I had made it to the next stage and when they asked if I would indeed make a commitment of six months. I had just been chatting online to Jason saying how I didn’t know what I was going to do next and was online researching options for going back to Northern Ireland.
The past few weeks have been relaxing, but the cracks in me are starting to show. When I am here, I overly worry about each member of my family. Today my Dad came home from work early because he didn’t feel well and I became sick with worry. He has been going to the doctor because of high blood pressure and diabetes and just started a new medication.
The news scares the shit out of me as well. I mean news everywhere is sensationalistic, but I swear it is even more so here. I’m not the only one who is running scared b/c of what the media is saying either. One of my bravest friends was seriously fearing an oncoming thunderstorm. It’s just madness. We are all scared shitless all the time. I can’t take it. No wonder I had fucking anxiety here.
Well, kids, this is my 100th post on the Blogger site. Woohoo! I have more from when I did the pages myself back in the early days.
I started this post earlier in the day, and since have grown to like the idea of another stint in the big city. I emailed a few people about apartments and even some regarding meet ups. We shall see what comes to fruition.
Hope all is well. Talk to you later gators!
Love,
Sabrina :-)
The past few weeks have been relaxing, but the cracks in me are starting to show. When I am here, I overly worry about each member of my family. Today my Dad came home from work early because he didn’t feel well and I became sick with worry. He has been going to the doctor because of high blood pressure and diabetes and just started a new medication.
The news scares the shit out of me as well. I mean news everywhere is sensationalistic, but I swear it is even more so here. I’m not the only one who is running scared b/c of what the media is saying either. One of my bravest friends was seriously fearing an oncoming thunderstorm. It’s just madness. We are all scared shitless all the time. I can’t take it. No wonder I had fucking anxiety here.
Well, kids, this is my 100th post on the Blogger site. Woohoo! I have more from when I did the pages myself back in the early days.
I started this post earlier in the day, and since have grown to like the idea of another stint in the big city. I emailed a few people about apartments and even some regarding meet ups. We shall see what comes to fruition.
Hope all is well. Talk to you later gators!
Love,
Sabrina :-)
Tuesday, July 27, 2004
An email I received with some tips on how to keep yourself safe:
Protection Tips
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do! 2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you...chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go! for the wallet or purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail >lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The >driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DO NOT DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead or hurt.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! ZIG- ZAG that way you’re harder to hit. The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into h! is vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a >window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a! baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby.----This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana. I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well. Ps; anyone ever seen the movie “Monster” men are at risk also…caution IS FOR EVERYONE!!! Send this to any person; male or female, you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better to be safe than sorry.
Protection Tips
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do! 2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you...chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go! for the wallet or purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail >lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The >driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DO NOT DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR, LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor, and in the back seat.
B.) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
C.) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead or hurt.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! ZIG- ZAG that way you’re harder to hit. The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP. It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well-educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into h! is vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a >window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a! baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby. He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night. Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby.----This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana. I'd like you to forward this to all the women you know. It may save a life. A candle is not dimmed by lighting another candle. I was going to send this to the ladies only, but guys, if you love your mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, etc., you may want to pass it onto them, as well. Ps; anyone ever seen the movie “Monster” men are at risk also…caution IS FOR EVERYONE!!! Send this to any person; male or female, you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it's better to be safe than sorry.
Monday, July 26, 2004
My head hurts. From the neck up, I am just a vessel to hold mucous. I have a bit of a cold which is really just more annoying than anything else. I'm taking some drugs and getting some sleep.
So I really want to get back to Northern Ireland. I have accepted my place at University of Ulster, but I still don't know how I'm going to fund it. I tried to do a bit of research today, but my head is just not able to handle like serious or coherent thoughts at the moment. I have been watching VH1 for most of the day. Dude, how did I not know that Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and John Stamos broke up? I must watch more celebrity gossip so I can catch up on all the stuff I missed while I was holed up in the UK.
Well, now I'm making a cup of hot chocolate and Licorice is whining to go outside. He's a scaredy cat sometimes and won't go out unless someone comes with him. Aww, such a cutie.
My Dad narrowly escaped a bank robbery today. He arrived before the police, but after the robbers left. Scary. He also caught the mouse in our house today. He (the mouse) was in Licorice's bag of food when Dad found him. He let him out in the alley.
Tomorrow our garage and shed are being knocked down to make room for the new one that will be built soon. This means that poor Licaroo won't get to go out in the backyard until it's all finished. So we will all have to get off our lazy asses and take him for walks all the time.
Time for hot cocoa. Hope all is well.
Love,
Sabrina :-)
So I really want to get back to Northern Ireland. I have accepted my place at University of Ulster, but I still don't know how I'm going to fund it. I tried to do a bit of research today, but my head is just not able to handle like serious or coherent thoughts at the moment. I have been watching VH1 for most of the day. Dude, how did I not know that Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and John Stamos broke up? I must watch more celebrity gossip so I can catch up on all the stuff I missed while I was holed up in the UK.
Well, now I'm making a cup of hot chocolate and Licorice is whining to go outside. He's a scaredy cat sometimes and won't go out unless someone comes with him. Aww, such a cutie.
My Dad narrowly escaped a bank robbery today. He arrived before the police, but after the robbers left. Scary. He also caught the mouse in our house today. He (the mouse) was in Licorice's bag of food when Dad found him. He let him out in the alley.
Tomorrow our garage and shed are being knocked down to make room for the new one that will be built soon. This means that poor Licaroo won't get to go out in the backyard until it's all finished. So we will all have to get off our lazy asses and take him for walks all the time.
Time for hot cocoa. Hope all is well.
Love,
Sabrina :-)
Thursday, July 22, 2004
I just had to check CNN.com to see what day it is today. I am seriously out of sorts. I had nightmare after nightmare last night and repeatedly woke myself up screaming. This weekend is the 'anniversary' of the first time I was attacked. Being here, where it happened doesn't seem to be helping matters either. I am just trying to take one moment at a time to make it thru but I am so jumpy. What turned out to be nothing more than a snore of mine was my dad standing over my bed yelling at me in my over anxious imagination. I woke up completely frightened.
I will be spending the weekend at Becky's house for her oldest daughter's birthday celebration, so maybe that will help. Being with children always seems to put things in perspective.
I will be spending the weekend at Becky's house for her oldest daughter's birthday celebration, so maybe that will help. Being with children always seems to put things in perspective.
Wednesday, July 21, 2004
I can hear thunder outside. It is getting louder and occurring more often; a storm is moving in. By the sounds of it, it is some kind of storm that will likely last all night. Up in the attic where I sleep, it seems that you can hear every raindrop as it falls on the roof. The windows shake when the thunder roars and the lightning seeps through the curtains as bright as the morning sunlight. I can't help but think this would be a beautiful night to have someone curled up beside me in bed. When you enjoy the natural phenomenon of a thunderstorm because you have nowhere to go, nor would you want to. Everything you want in the world is right beside you, in your room, your bed, under your duvet. Let the thunder shake the windows, the rain pellet the roof, it doesn't matter. All that matters are the two of us in this bed.
Well, the only other person sleeping in my bed tonight will be Licorice, so its not quite the same, but I'm sure we'll both be a little less frightened.
I just finished watching the film Just Married. I couldn't help but be reminded of Ronan in the character played by Ashton Kuchter. Of course, I am a woman nursing a broken heart, so I'm not exactly the most objective person in the world, but still, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I spent the better part of today in front of a computer taking tests. I did become certified, though. Yippee! I now have a Microsoft Office Specialist certification in Excel. Congratulations to me.
Its been a hard day. Think it's time for me and Licorice to hit the hay. See you later!
Love,
Sabrina :-)
Well, the only other person sleeping in my bed tonight will be Licorice, so its not quite the same, but I'm sure we'll both be a little less frightened.
I just finished watching the film Just Married. I couldn't help but be reminded of Ronan in the character played by Ashton Kuchter. Of course, I am a woman nursing a broken heart, so I'm not exactly the most objective person in the world, but still, it made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
I spent the better part of today in front of a computer taking tests. I did become certified, though. Yippee! I now have a Microsoft Office Specialist certification in Excel. Congratulations to me.
Its been a hard day. Think it's time for me and Licorice to hit the hay. See you later!
Love,
Sabrina :-)
Friday, July 16, 2004
I was so high I did not recognize,
The fire burning in her eyes,
The chaos that controlled my mind.
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane,
Never to return again,
But always in my heart.
This love has taken its toll on me,
She said goodbye too many times before.
And her heart is breaking in front of me,
I have no choice, cause I won't say goodbye anymore.
This Love, Maroon 5
http://www.lyrko.com/index.php?popravi=30003&jz=ang
The fire burning in her eyes,
The chaos that controlled my mind.
Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane,
Never to return again,
But always in my heart.
This love has taken its toll on me,
She said goodbye too many times before.
And her heart is breaking in front of me,
I have no choice, cause I won't say goodbye anymore.
This Love, Maroon 5
http://www.lyrko.com/index.php?popravi=30003&jz=ang
Wednesday, July 14, 2004
Here's another one of those email thingies I got. My score was 40.
PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE
Pretty cool psycho test.
Here's something that you may find interesting psychological profile don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate. And it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends, including the one who sent it, and let them know who you are.
The person who sent it placed their score in the subject box. Please do the same before forwarding to your friends.
Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now ... not who you were in the past.
Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees.
There are only 10 simple questions, so .... grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers.
Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you're finished, forward this to everyone you know, and also send it to the person who sent this to you.
Make sure to put YOUR score in the subject box. Ready?? Begin..
1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon and early evening
c) late at night
2. You usually walk
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly
3. When talking to people you
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with
a) a big, appreciative laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted; do you ...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colours do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or grey
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant
POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.
Interpretations on next page.
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care". You're seen as vain, self-centred, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the centre of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.
Now forward this to others, and put your score in subject box.
PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE
Pretty cool psycho test.
Here's something that you may find interesting psychological profile don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate. And it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends, including the one who sent it, and let them know who you are.
The person who sent it placed their score in the subject box. Please do the same before forwarding to your friends.
Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now ... not who you were in the past.
Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees.
There are only 10 simple questions, so .... grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers.
Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you're finished, forward this to everyone you know, and also send it to the person who sent this to you.
Make sure to put YOUR score in the subject box. Ready?? Begin..
1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon and early evening
c) late at night
2. You usually walk
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly
3. When talking to people you
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with
a) a big, appreciative laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking around for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted; do you ...
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following colours do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or grey
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep, you lie
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant
POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 (b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.
Interpretations on next page.
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care". You're seen as vain, self-centred, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company because of the excitement you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS: Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the centre of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful and practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust in your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over it if that trust is ever broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions and who doesn't want to get involved with anyone or anything. They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't.
Now forward this to others, and put your score in subject box.
Saturday, July 10, 2004
Happy Belated Fourth of July! To mark the occasion, I have come back to America! Well, that's not really the reason, but I am back in America. I have to say the weather is GREAT! So bright and sunny. No matter how warm it gets over in the UK, it is never this bright. I get to wear my new super cool movie star sunglasses all the time now!
Tomorrow my parents are having a bbq for my birthday. It's not officially until Tuesday, but you know we wanted to have it on a weekend and all. I bought tiaras for party favors and a centerpiece that says "party girl". Yep, should be a good time.
My mom is going baby crazy again. I already told her and my dad that my baby won't stay with them for the weekend, but they laughed and said, "yeah, right, she'll be here all the time!" I do worry if I'll be able to stay up all the nights I need to and make it through the first few months.
I have to get another check next month and now I have to find a doctor here again. I think I'll just go to Planned Parenthood.
I'm very relaxed here and I am a far cry away from the state of nervous breakdown I was in during my last day in Salford. Here I can relax, chill out and be with my family who will help support me in my time of need. In an Easter card my Mom sent me she said I was courageous for living my life the way I chose but to remember that my home is always here. How true.
Tomorrow my parents are having a bbq for my birthday. It's not officially until Tuesday, but you know we wanted to have it on a weekend and all. I bought tiaras for party favors and a centerpiece that says "party girl". Yep, should be a good time.
My mom is going baby crazy again. I already told her and my dad that my baby won't stay with them for the weekend, but they laughed and said, "yeah, right, she'll be here all the time!" I do worry if I'll be able to stay up all the nights I need to and make it through the first few months.
I have to get another check next month and now I have to find a doctor here again. I think I'll just go to Planned Parenthood.
I'm very relaxed here and I am a far cry away from the state of nervous breakdown I was in during my last day in Salford. Here I can relax, chill out and be with my family who will help support me in my time of need. In an Easter card my Mom sent me she said I was courageous for living my life the way I chose but to remember that my home is always here. How true.
Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Round 2: Retail Therapy. I spent the day at the Trafford Centre. I intended to get a manicure and get my hair cut, did neither, but still spent money. Most of the money I spent (other than for the travel there and back, which was at least £10!) was spent at Birthdays, a card shop. They actually have two stores in the one mall and I bought from both of them! I'm such a sucker for that kind of stuff.
I am at the office downtown now, taking a wee break for lunch. I just made a hair appointment at a place not far from where I live. I have been trying to get in contact with them for ages. Back in April, I saw a woman at the community fair whose hair I really liked and asked her where she got it done, and she told me about this place. My appointment is for tomorrow afternoon. When I rang and asked for first available, she said apologetically that there was nothing for Friday, but there was an opening on Thursday. I guess a lot of people get their hair done on Friday or something...
I also just got off the phone with the hair buying people. I have to send it in and then they send me a cheque. So, whether I decide to donate it or sell it, I just have to have a ponytail cut off and send it in to whichever place I choose.
In other news, I miss Ronan. I miss him a lot. Most of the stuff I bought yesterday was for him, but I don't think I'll get the chance to give it to him. Yeah, you may say that I said this or that about him, but I don't care. I just miss him. All the bullsh*t aside, I'm in love with him and he's no longer a part of my life and that makes me sad. That's normal. I miss him and I'm sad.
Well, I better get back to work. Oh, I broke the keyboard at the housing office (actually, it just broke and I was the one using it when it happened, so now I'm responsible for it. Grrr...)so I might not be able to post as frequently as I would like. Ah well, such is life...
Until next time,
Love,
Sabrina :-)
I am at the office downtown now, taking a wee break for lunch. I just made a hair appointment at a place not far from where I live. I have been trying to get in contact with them for ages. Back in April, I saw a woman at the community fair whose hair I really liked and asked her where she got it done, and she told me about this place. My appointment is for tomorrow afternoon. When I rang and asked for first available, she said apologetically that there was nothing for Friday, but there was an opening on Thursday. I guess a lot of people get their hair done on Friday or something...
I also just got off the phone with the hair buying people. I have to send it in and then they send me a cheque. So, whether I decide to donate it or sell it, I just have to have a ponytail cut off and send it in to whichever place I choose.
In other news, I miss Ronan. I miss him a lot. Most of the stuff I bought yesterday was for him, but I don't think I'll get the chance to give it to him. Yeah, you may say that I said this or that about him, but I don't care. I just miss him. All the bullsh*t aside, I'm in love with him and he's no longer a part of my life and that makes me sad. That's normal. I miss him and I'm sad.
Well, I better get back to work. Oh, I broke the keyboard at the housing office (actually, it just broke and I was the one using it when it happened, so now I'm responsible for it. Grrr...)so I might not be able to post as frequently as I would like. Ah well, such is life...
Until next time,
Love,
Sabrina :-)
Sunday, June 27, 2004
I indulged in a little retail therapy today. Damage about £20, but I'll get about £5 reimbursed and really I kind of needed at least some of the stuff...
Now that I have money, I am determined to get my hair cut this week. It is my last week here in Manchester. I sat near the fountain in Piccadilly Gardens today and took some pictures. Oh, I also had Burger King for the first time in at least six months. The cashier didn't charge me for my whopper no meat, so that was cool.
Right, so back to my hair. Last time I had it cut, I donated it to Locks of Love, which is based in the US. I am looking online now for some place to donate it in the UK, but nothing is coming up. On the Cancer Research UK site, it tells about where you can sell your hair... Hmm....
I bought some temporary hair colour during my retail therapy today. I think I'll wait until I get it cut to do it, though, b/c with all the hair I have now, I would probably need two bottles!
I bought some M&Ms today, which is super cool, b/c you don't often come across them over on this side of the ocean - only the peanut flavour. However, I am sad to report, that I think I may not be able to eat chocolate anymore. I thought it was only milk I couldn't take, but as I often drink milk with chocolate, I tried chocolate without the milk and I still got sick :-( What will this mean for my future? Will I be able to carry on? Umm, yeah, I think I'll somehow find the strength to go forth, mmhmm.
My cousin, Mary, got married last night. Congratulations! My Mom flew to Tennessee for the ceremony. I spoke to her on the phone after she arrived and it made me want to be there so bad! I haven't been to Tennessee in awhile.
So, I am going to spend two weeks in nearby Warrington where I will train at the Childrens Peace Centre learning how to deliver anti-bullying workshopsto 11 year olds. I will then deliver the workshops to over 1000 young people. I am excited about the training, but a bit nervous. I can't believe it is already time to move again. I feel like I am always moving, but that's probably because I always am! After the two weeks there, I am off to Ballycastle, Northern Ireland to volunteer with Corrymeela Community. I don't know how long I will be there, but for now it is planned for until the end of August. I did get into University of Ulster for the MA in Peace and Conflict Studies, but I don't know how I am going to fund it. We shall see what the next day holds for us all, I suppose.
Now that I have money, I am determined to get my hair cut this week. It is my last week here in Manchester. I sat near the fountain in Piccadilly Gardens today and took some pictures. Oh, I also had Burger King for the first time in at least six months. The cashier didn't charge me for my whopper no meat, so that was cool.
Right, so back to my hair. Last time I had it cut, I donated it to Locks of Love, which is based in the US. I am looking online now for some place to donate it in the UK, but nothing is coming up. On the Cancer Research UK site, it tells about where you can sell your hair... Hmm....
I bought some temporary hair colour during my retail therapy today. I think I'll wait until I get it cut to do it, though, b/c with all the hair I have now, I would probably need two bottles!
I bought some M&Ms today, which is super cool, b/c you don't often come across them over on this side of the ocean - only the peanut flavour. However, I am sad to report, that I think I may not be able to eat chocolate anymore. I thought it was only milk I couldn't take, but as I often drink milk with chocolate, I tried chocolate without the milk and I still got sick :-( What will this mean for my future? Will I be able to carry on? Umm, yeah, I think I'll somehow find the strength to go forth, mmhmm.
My cousin, Mary, got married last night. Congratulations! My Mom flew to Tennessee for the ceremony. I spoke to her on the phone after she arrived and it made me want to be there so bad! I haven't been to Tennessee in awhile.
So, I am going to spend two weeks in nearby Warrington where I will train at the Childrens Peace Centre learning how to deliver anti-bullying workshopsto 11 year olds. I will then deliver the workshops to over 1000 young people. I am excited about the training, but a bit nervous. I can't believe it is already time to move again. I feel like I am always moving, but that's probably because I always am! After the two weeks there, I am off to Ballycastle, Northern Ireland to volunteer with Corrymeela Community. I don't know how long I will be there, but for now it is planned for until the end of August. I did get into University of Ulster for the MA in Peace and Conflict Studies, but I don't know how I am going to fund it. We shall see what the next day holds for us all, I suppose.
Saturday, June 26, 2004
Well, lots of song lyrics and meaningful quotes. Looks like another row with Ronan. Yes, somehow I allowed him into my heart again, and, as each time before, he broke it into thousands of pieces. As I mentioned in my previous post, I was in Derry for a few days last week. It was a spontaneous trip which I paid for with my weekly stipend, and was coaxed to do so by Ronan. Not that I needed much coaxing, but just to say he wanted me there as much as I wanted to be there. The first night was great, the next morning was good, but by lunchtime it was...over. He came home from work for his lunch break, and as I had been alone in his flat all morning, I was quite happy to see him and wanted to, umm, spend some quality time with him. He wanted to watch tv. I wanted to watch tv with him. He wanted me to play on the computer. He said he felt awkward. Things weren't the same. I was gutted. We'll talk about this when I get home from work, he says. I go to sleep because I don't know what else to do.
He comes home and this is where it all goes downhill. He says he needs time. He says it feels weird me being there. I ask, then, if he wants me to leave. Well, where can you go, he says? I know then that is exactly what he wants but he knows I have nowhere to go and no return ticket or money to get back. The rest of the time is spent trying to figure out where I can go and I am so shocked, hurt and devastated that I can barely go through the motions. I just want to forget about it until I leave, which I will have to do eventually anyways. He won't have it and says he doesn't want to make things complicated by hugging or touching me in any way. No, I can't lay next to him to watch tv, and I am "psycho" for being upset about it.
Another day goes by. I just can't deal with it anymore and I tell him I hate him, that I never want to speak to him after I leave here. After I get this out, I feel so much better and begin to feel like a person again. He, however, goes on like I have insulted his mother or something and sulks for days (he still is) about me saying I hate him. I say I was upset, I apologize. He doesn't let it go.
He arranges a flight for me. It is half the cost for me to leave the following day, but he uses all the money he has to get me the hell out of there.
Today I see him online and he says he doesn't love me anymore and I am psycho.
I must be to have to let you in my life again, Ronan.
He comes home and this is where it all goes downhill. He says he needs time. He says it feels weird me being there. I ask, then, if he wants me to leave. Well, where can you go, he says? I know then that is exactly what he wants but he knows I have nowhere to go and no return ticket or money to get back. The rest of the time is spent trying to figure out where I can go and I am so shocked, hurt and devastated that I can barely go through the motions. I just want to forget about it until I leave, which I will have to do eventually anyways. He won't have it and says he doesn't want to make things complicated by hugging or touching me in any way. No, I can't lay next to him to watch tv, and I am "psycho" for being upset about it.
Another day goes by. I just can't deal with it anymore and I tell him I hate him, that I never want to speak to him after I leave here. After I get this out, I feel so much better and begin to feel like a person again. He, however, goes on like I have insulted his mother or something and sulks for days (he still is) about me saying I hate him. I say I was upset, I apologize. He doesn't let it go.
He arranges a flight for me. It is half the cost for me to leave the following day, but he uses all the money he has to get me the hell out of there.
Today I see him online and he says he doesn't love me anymore and I am psycho.
I must be to have to let you in my life again, Ronan.
Trouble is a sieve through which we sift all our acquaintances. Those too big to go through are our real friends. - Yaniv Loran
The worst way to miss someone is to have them sitting beside you, knowing you can't have them.
If something is to give light, it must first endure burning.
How you gonna win when you ain't right within? - Lauryn Hill
You do not have to be your mother unless she is who you want to be. You do not have to be your mother's mother or even your mother's mother's mother. You may inherit their chins or their hips or their eyes, but you are not destined to become the women who came before you. So if you inherit something, inherit their strength. If you inherit something, inherit their resilience. Because the only person you are destined to be is the person you decide to be.
A man who wishes to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. - Jack Lee
Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream - Malcolm Muggeridge
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759
http://www.coolquotescollection.com/cat/wisdom/51/
The worst way to miss someone is to have them sitting beside you, knowing you can't have them.
If something is to give light, it must first endure burning.
How you gonna win when you ain't right within? - Lauryn Hill
You do not have to be your mother unless she is who you want to be. You do not have to be your mother's mother or even your mother's mother's mother. You may inherit their chins or their hips or their eyes, but you are not destined to become the women who came before you. So if you inherit something, inherit their strength. If you inherit something, inherit their resilience. Because the only person you are destined to be is the person you decide to be.
A man who wishes to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd. - Jack Lee
Never forget that only dead fish swim with the stream - Malcolm Muggeridge
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety. - Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759
http://www.coolquotescollection.com/cat/wisdom/51/
I don't know what you're looking for
You haven't found it baby, thats for sure
You rip me up, you spread me all around
In the dust of the deed of time
And this is not a case of lust you see
It's not a matter of you versus me
It's fine the way you want to be on your own
But in the end it's always me alone
I'm losing my favourite game
You're losing your mind again
I'm losing my baby, losing my favourite game
I only know what I've been working for
Another you so I could love you more
I really thought that I could take you there
But my experiment is not getting us anywhere
I had a vision I could turn you right
A stupid mission in a lethal fight
I should have seen it when my hope was new
My heart is black and my body is blue
And I'm losing my favourite game
You're losing your mind again
I'm losing my favourite game
You're losing your mind again
I'm losing my baby, losing my favourite game
I'm losing my favourite game (losing my favourite)
You're losing your mind again (I try)
I try but you're still the same (I try)
I'm losing my baby
You're losing a saviour and a saint
Cardigans, My Favorite Game
http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/c/cardigans5688/myfavoritegame229583.html
You haven't found it baby, thats for sure
You rip me up, you spread me all around
In the dust of the deed of time
And this is not a case of lust you see
It's not a matter of you versus me
It's fine the way you want to be on your own
But in the end it's always me alone
I'm losing my favourite game
You're losing your mind again
I'm losing my baby, losing my favourite game
I only know what I've been working for
Another you so I could love you more
I really thought that I could take you there
But my experiment is not getting us anywhere
I had a vision I could turn you right
A stupid mission in a lethal fight
I should have seen it when my hope was new
My heart is black and my body is blue
And I'm losing my favourite game
You're losing your mind again
I'm losing my favourite game
You're losing your mind again
I'm losing my baby, losing my favourite game
I'm losing my favourite game (losing my favourite)
You're losing your mind again (I try)
I try but you're still the same (I try)
I'm losing my baby
You're losing a saviour and a saint
Cardigans, My Favorite Game
http://www.stlyrics.com/songs/c/cardigans5688/myfavoritegame229583.html
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
THAT I can't SAY what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know
Damien Rice, Cannonball
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Cannonball-lyrics-Damien-Rice/277965B2EBEE3E9848256DA0000AE7E1#
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
Still a little bit of your ghost your witness
Still a little BIT of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer each day
THAT I can't SAY what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball
Still a little bit of your song in my ear
Still a little bit of your words I long to hear
You step a little closer to me
So close that I can't see what's going on
Stones taught me to fly
Love, it taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannon
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to cry
So come on courage!
Teach me to be shy
'Cause it's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna scare her
It's not hard to fall
And I don't wanna lose
It's not hard to grow
When you know that you just don't know
Damien Rice, Cannonball
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Cannonball-lyrics-Damien-Rice/277965B2EBEE3E9848256DA0000AE7E1#
Friday, June 25, 2004
Here's a cool nineties site.
Don't you hate it when you're watching TV or playing on the computer and you really have to go pee but you think you'll just wait to the commercial or whatever, but then you wait longer and before you know you REALLY REALLY have to go. Why do I do that? Why don't I just go the first time the feeling strikes me?
I received a package from my mum today. In it was a letter from my friend Angie with details about all I need to know to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. This is more complicated than I thought; especially when I am in a different country until the day.
I am looking at classmates.com. I only look at this site when I am not in America. When I am in America, in the midwest region, I tend to avoid people I went to school with like the plague. Don't get me wrong, enjoyed school and all, but I just hate 1.) the comments on how much weight I've gained 2.) explaining why I'm not married, in a serious relationship, or don't have any children 3.) why I live abroad 4.) explaining that yes, I am still a vegetarian. It's like I have to argue all these points and why should anyone have to argue their beliefs at any time, but especially to someone you haven't seen in 10 years who just run into at the supermarket. Crikey.
Right, so the point was, I check it out when I am outside of the country. It makes me feel closer to home; which is not always a good thing!
I'm also amazed at how many people's names I just do not remember. It's weird. My school wasn't big or anything, and pretty much everyone knew everyone, but I read the names, and think "that sounds familiar..." but have no idea who the person is.
Well, England lost last night :-( Out of Euro 2004. It was a good game, though, and went into double overtime and then penalties. Ronan was more than happy to see me upset at England losing, as his favourite team is anyone who plays England.
Speaking of Ronan, I just got back from Derry, Northern Ireland, this afternoon. I flew out of City of Derry airport, which is teeny tiny, and for the first time, rode on a propeller aircraft. I got really nervous when I saw a plane land and it had space for about four people. I looked around the departure lounge and saw only three of us. Uh, oh. I remembered my Dad telling me about his experience in a small plane, and he didn't like it one bit. I made a decision then and there to stick with the bigger airports, even if it was a longer drive! When the plane did arrive (my plane, I mean) it looked huge in comparison, which made me feel much better. It was all fine and dandy. I really think Derry is a great city, though, so here's a link to the youth hostel as well.
As I rolled my suitcase along the estate on my way back this evening, a group of lads from my youth project came up and asked if I was leaving. I was a bit confused because I didn't know if they were referring to my leaving in a couple of weeks or just inquiring about the suitcase. Anyhow, they seemed to think it was pretty cool that I just got back from Northern Ireland.
On my way here to the office, I ran into some more of my kids and they all had found out about my leaving. I sat outside and chatted with them for about a half hour. It was nice. I will miss the kids, they have been the best part of this experience by far.
Don't you hate it when you're watching TV or playing on the computer and you really have to go pee but you think you'll just wait to the commercial or whatever, but then you wait longer and before you know you REALLY REALLY have to go. Why do I do that? Why don't I just go the first time the feeling strikes me?
I received a package from my mum today. In it was a letter from my friend Angie with details about all I need to know to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. This is more complicated than I thought; especially when I am in a different country until the day.
I am looking at classmates.com. I only look at this site when I am not in America. When I am in America, in the midwest region, I tend to avoid people I went to school with like the plague. Don't get me wrong, enjoyed school and all, but I just hate 1.) the comments on how much weight I've gained 2.) explaining why I'm not married, in a serious relationship, or don't have any children 3.) why I live abroad 4.) explaining that yes, I am still a vegetarian. It's like I have to argue all these points and why should anyone have to argue their beliefs at any time, but especially to someone you haven't seen in 10 years who just run into at the supermarket. Crikey.
Right, so the point was, I check it out when I am outside of the country. It makes me feel closer to home; which is not always a good thing!
I'm also amazed at how many people's names I just do not remember. It's weird. My school wasn't big or anything, and pretty much everyone knew everyone, but I read the names, and think "that sounds familiar..." but have no idea who the person is.
Well, England lost last night :-( Out of Euro 2004. It was a good game, though, and went into double overtime and then penalties. Ronan was more than happy to see me upset at England losing, as his favourite team is anyone who plays England.
Speaking of Ronan, I just got back from Derry, Northern Ireland, this afternoon. I flew out of City of Derry airport, which is teeny tiny, and for the first time, rode on a propeller aircraft. I got really nervous when I saw a plane land and it had space for about four people. I looked around the departure lounge and saw only three of us. Uh, oh. I remembered my Dad telling me about his experience in a small plane, and he didn't like it one bit. I made a decision then and there to stick with the bigger airports, even if it was a longer drive! When the plane did arrive (my plane, I mean) it looked huge in comparison, which made me feel much better. It was all fine and dandy. I really think Derry is a great city, though, so here's a link to the youth hostel as well.
As I rolled my suitcase along the estate on my way back this evening, a group of lads from my youth project came up and asked if I was leaving. I was a bit confused because I didn't know if they were referring to my leaving in a couple of weeks or just inquiring about the suitcase. Anyhow, they seemed to think it was pretty cool that I just got back from Northern Ireland.
On my way here to the office, I ran into some more of my kids and they all had found out about my leaving. I sat outside and chatted with them for about a half hour. It was nice. I will miss the kids, they have been the best part of this experience by far.
Monday, June 21, 2004
Interesting day. Good news first - I have been accepted into University of Ulster's MA Peace and Conflict Studies Program. Bad news - I was attacked on the estate again last night. Interesting news - I may be leaving Manchester within the week. I guess I shall just see what tomorrow brings...
Monday, June 14, 2004
God, I feel sick to my stomach. I don't think it's the pasta & sauce mix I ate, either. Damn men. I swear to God, they will seriously be the end of me.
In other news, I have been steadily applying for jobs in Chicago via email. I still haven't heard from the graduate school in Northern Ireland to which I applied. I don't even know if it is a feasible option anyways, as even if I am accepted, I haven't the slightest clue how I plan to finance it. Maybe I could give 'em a bell today and see how the process is coming along.
Ugh ----- MEN!!!!!!!!!!
And my roommate and my boss and my other boss are all doing my fricking head in. I have taken to getting up at 5 am to do things so I don't see any of them! I am supposed to be at the health centre turning in my prescription form but I am too scared to go b/c of the stuff that happened last time I was over that way. I am getting really agorophobic and find myself staying in more and more. I swear to God these damn hooligans have no idea the havoc they can wreak on people's lives. A death threat, a knife and a hatchet may be par for the course for them, but for someone like me it is crippling. Maybe I should just go home...
In other news, I have been steadily applying for jobs in Chicago via email. I still haven't heard from the graduate school in Northern Ireland to which I applied. I don't even know if it is a feasible option anyways, as even if I am accepted, I haven't the slightest clue how I plan to finance it. Maybe I could give 'em a bell today and see how the process is coming along.
Ugh ----- MEN!!!!!!!!!!
And my roommate and my boss and my other boss are all doing my fricking head in. I have taken to getting up at 5 am to do things so I don't see any of them! I am supposed to be at the health centre turning in my prescription form but I am too scared to go b/c of the stuff that happened last time I was over that way. I am getting really agorophobic and find myself staying in more and more. I swear to God these damn hooligans have no idea the havoc they can wreak on people's lives. A death threat, a knife and a hatchet may be par for the course for them, but for someone like me it is crippling. Maybe I should just go home...
Wednesday, June 09, 2004
I am really annoyed. I am going on vacation this week because my boss is getting on my nerves.
How would you like it if your boss talked to you all the time about how you get on with your neighbours and whether or not you've paid your bills on time? Oh wait, come to think of it, he's not even my boss. My boss is actually based in the Manchester head office and I am supposed to have supervision meetings with her. And then there is the other person with whom I'm supposed to meet with, the chairperson, but he is a mirage seen only every now and again, and just when you think you've got a good view, poof, it's gone. And then of course, there is the Volunteer Director, who has been on leave for two months now. She is back in the office, but when I phoned to speak to her, the secretary was playing gatekeeper and wouldn't put me through. I left a message and a week later, I've still not heard from her.
How about this, folks? Come live on a ghetto council estate in one of the worst areas of the whole of northwest England, work with children with behavioural problems, get shit about it from your neighbours, no support from any member of management, a chastisement anytime you ask to go to a training, and oh yeah, live on £55 a week. How does that sound? Yes, please, sign me up!!!
Yet these people seem to think they are doing ME a favour. Okay, I'll stop abusing your goodwill and leave this oasis of beauty of tranquility and let you manage the forty two young people, organize work projects and trips, recruit adult volunteers from the estate and build them up so they become confident enough to start to make a real contribution to the youngsters. Go on. I've really taken enough from you kind folks already. What with the posh flat with a leaking roof, a broken door, and a wooden door acting as my bed, I really ask too much. Oh and the washing machine with no handle, the three legged table in the kitchen, the broken lamp and nightstand, I've been far too greedy.
How would you like it if your boss talked to you all the time about how you get on with your neighbours and whether or not you've paid your bills on time? Oh wait, come to think of it, he's not even my boss. My boss is actually based in the Manchester head office and I am supposed to have supervision meetings with her. And then there is the other person with whom I'm supposed to meet with, the chairperson, but he is a mirage seen only every now and again, and just when you think you've got a good view, poof, it's gone. And then of course, there is the Volunteer Director, who has been on leave for two months now. She is back in the office, but when I phoned to speak to her, the secretary was playing gatekeeper and wouldn't put me through. I left a message and a week later, I've still not heard from her.
How about this, folks? Come live on a ghetto council estate in one of the worst areas of the whole of northwest England, work with children with behavioural problems, get shit about it from your neighbours, no support from any member of management, a chastisement anytime you ask to go to a training, and oh yeah, live on £55 a week. How does that sound? Yes, please, sign me up!!!
Yet these people seem to think they are doing ME a favour. Okay, I'll stop abusing your goodwill and leave this oasis of beauty of tranquility and let you manage the forty two young people, organize work projects and trips, recruit adult volunteers from the estate and build them up so they become confident enough to start to make a real contribution to the youngsters. Go on. I've really taken enough from you kind folks already. What with the posh flat with a leaking roof, a broken door, and a wooden door acting as my bed, I really ask too much. Oh and the washing machine with no handle, the three legged table in the kitchen, the broken lamp and nightstand, I've been far too greedy.
Saturday, June 05, 2004
I know I go on and on about these e-card thingees, but I think they are so funny! I am easily amused, though, especially when it comes to animals! I watch the cats and dogs around our estate and laugh with glee. Hey, it's the simple things in life, right? RIGHT??!!
Hey, hey, I'm back already. So, what did I do with all that time for myself? Well, some kids came over and I worked with them for awhile and then I took a nap. Woohoo. (That's a sarcastic woohoo, in case you didn't notice!) I really need to get back home and do some washing and cleaning up. I had wanted to do some laundry for the past couple of days now, but didn't because it was raining! I hang my clothes out on the line, ok? I could, of course, hang them on the radiator, but then they smell funny...
Tomorrow I will be going with the kids to LaserQuest. Yippee! Shooting one another with lasers is fun for all.
Better go, is starting to get dark and don't want to walk alone at night in the ghetto.
Bye, bye!
Love,
Sabrina :-)
Tomorrow I will be going with the kids to LaserQuest. Yippee! Shooting one another with lasers is fun for all.
Better go, is starting to get dark and don't want to walk alone at night in the ghetto.
Bye, bye!
Love,
Sabrina :-)
Hello, hello. Well, I started off the day by doing another CPR course. It was good and it refreshed my memory as well as learning how to use a defibrilator, which can't be a bad thing, right? This training only took an hour and a half, but the one I did with the kids took seven hours! And this one was free. Only one other person from the community turned up, but I suppose that is better than nothing. I hadn't really publicized a lot b/c I had an upper limit of six people. Anywhoo, I'm organizing another one for later in the summer and will spread the word.
We're also organizing a community clean up day for Saturday, 26 June. I just made the flyer for that and got some nifty posters from the Tidy Britain campaign. I can't photocopy them, though, b/c our machine is all buggered. :( Oh well. The main thing I have to work on this weekend is getting a presentation together for the conference on Tuesday, but my stomach is growling, so maybe I'll have lunch first! :-)
Olka and I were supposed to be in Stoke this afternoon, but I never got the final details from the person who was picking us up, so we didn't want to run the risk of being stranded at the Stoke train station and waste four hours of travel time. Ah well.
Now I have more time for ME! Actually, I have more time to work on this presentation, which is probably what I'm going to do.
So, did everyone watch Big Brother last night? Kitten got evicted. I think the rules she broke were piddly and the real reason they kicked her out was because she's due in court this week, or there could be other reasons.
Ah well, off to lunch. Hope all is with everyone!
Love,
Sabrina
We're also organizing a community clean up day for Saturday, 26 June. I just made the flyer for that and got some nifty posters from the Tidy Britain campaign. I can't photocopy them, though, b/c our machine is all buggered. :( Oh well. The main thing I have to work on this weekend is getting a presentation together for the conference on Tuesday, but my stomach is growling, so maybe I'll have lunch first! :-)
Olka and I were supposed to be in Stoke this afternoon, but I never got the final details from the person who was picking us up, so we didn't want to run the risk of being stranded at the Stoke train station and waste four hours of travel time. Ah well.
Now I have more time for ME! Actually, I have more time to work on this presentation, which is probably what I'm going to do.
So, did everyone watch Big Brother last night? Kitten got evicted. I think the rules she broke were piddly and the real reason they kicked her out was because she's due in court this week, or there could be other reasons.
Ah well, off to lunch. Hope all is with everyone!
Love,
Sabrina
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