Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Needs versus Ridiculously Unnecessary Useless Gifts
This weekend I went to a fourth birthday party. To avoid having to describe the complex exact relationship, let's just say it was a friend of a friend. There were about thirty people at the party when I arrived, and there had been more who had come and gone before and since. Each of these people brought at least one gift for the birthday child. Including the vast multitude of gifts from the parents and grandparents, there were easily fifty-sixty presents. Fifty presents. For one child. One four year old child. In addition, though, they have two other children, and they both received a few gifts. One more than the other, because this poor child didn't have a birthday party (the horror) and this was kind of sort of their party as well. So what we can deduce from this (and what I actually learned from speaking with the parents) is that they not only have a birthday party every year for this child, but they also have one every year for the other kids as well. That's three birthday parties a year. Fifty presents per child (which is a conservative estimate) comes to 150 presents a year for this household. That's for birthdays. Christmas is a whole other story. I would estimate about twenty gifts per child (again, conservative estimate) for Christmas. So about 200 gifts (mainly toys) in this household per year. But wait, there's more! Do you think they only get toys at birthdays and Christmas? Not likely. I can't even fathom how many that comes to, so I'll just stick with the number 200.
As the child opened the presents, and I glanced at the overflowing present table, all I could think was, "Where are they going to put all of this?" They have a modest home, and with three children it is already bursting at the seams. Then I started to think of the money that went into those gifts. While I got mine for less than $1 thanks to clearance sales and coupons (and already had in the house), most people spent at least $20. The amount of money spent on the gifts could have paid for books for college one year.
The party itself is another expense. It was by no means extravagant. It was a very simple barbecue in a family member's backyard. They even got great discounts on the meat from a friend who works for the company. However, they still had to pay for that, mountains of beverages, side dishes, paper plates, napkins, plastic cutlery, tablecloths, etc. That is all money they paid out of pocket to have this party. One party goer suggested that they have a play date at a local children's place and the parent replied, "I don't know if I'll have the money after this." Clearly, this was an expense that put a marked dent into their budget.
Meanwhile, they get a call from the local police department that one of their dogs has escaped. In this extreme heat, they had accidentally left their animals outside. That, and a roaming dog is enough to get you in trouble with animal control, but the police officer was concerned about the look of the animal. Mind you, this is a police officer, not an animal control officer. Just by looking at the dog, he could tell that it wasn't healthy. He even took pictures of the dog to give to animal control for investigation when the office opened Monday. That was even before the officer knew that neither of the animals have had their shots in at least three years!
So, you mean to tell me that you can't afford rabies shots, but you can afford three birthday parties a year?
(Or this year, two birthday parties.)
You might suggest that the birthday party is a way for them to get gifts, so really it's an investment. They get more than they put in. I can see that theory. However, before the party, this child had more than enough toys and probably even clothes as well. What she got were a lot of dolls that I'm not sure she can tell the difference between. Puzzles too old for her. Many things that will remain unopened for a year to come.
What she is doing is (possibly) starting preschool next month. She could have probably used school supplies. Even then, knowing the mother, she probably would still buy the things she wanted and not used what others bought, though.
I struggle with these issues with my niece, who is also four years old. I want to buy her every cute thing I see, but she already has more than what she could ever use or play with. One friend of my parents buys her savings bonds for each birthday. That is a good idea. We should all consider this for children, especially the children who don't have any immediate needs for necessities. The craptastic toys we buy now will not be around when they are applying to college, or need a new uniform or braces or book rental. It is just so much wiser.
Yet I only know one person who does it.
As the child opened the presents, and I glanced at the overflowing present table, all I could think was, "Where are they going to put all of this?" They have a modest home, and with three children it is already bursting at the seams. Then I started to think of the money that went into those gifts. While I got mine for less than $1 thanks to clearance sales and coupons (and already had in the house), most people spent at least $20. The amount of money spent on the gifts could have paid for books for college one year.
The party itself is another expense. It was by no means extravagant. It was a very simple barbecue in a family member's backyard. They even got great discounts on the meat from a friend who works for the company. However, they still had to pay for that, mountains of beverages, side dishes, paper plates, napkins, plastic cutlery, tablecloths, etc. That is all money they paid out of pocket to have this party. One party goer suggested that they have a play date at a local children's place and the parent replied, "I don't know if I'll have the money after this." Clearly, this was an expense that put a marked dent into their budget.
Meanwhile, they get a call from the local police department that one of their dogs has escaped. In this extreme heat, they had accidentally left their animals outside. That, and a roaming dog is enough to get you in trouble with animal control, but the police officer was concerned about the look of the animal. Mind you, this is a police officer, not an animal control officer. Just by looking at the dog, he could tell that it wasn't healthy. He even took pictures of the dog to give to animal control for investigation when the office opened Monday. That was even before the officer knew that neither of the animals have had their shots in at least three years!
So, you mean to tell me that you can't afford rabies shots, but you can afford three birthday parties a year?
(Or this year, two birthday parties.)
You might suggest that the birthday party is a way for them to get gifts, so really it's an investment. They get more than they put in. I can see that theory. However, before the party, this child had more than enough toys and probably even clothes as well. What she got were a lot of dolls that I'm not sure she can tell the difference between. Puzzles too old for her. Many things that will remain unopened for a year to come.
What she is doing is (possibly) starting preschool next month. She could have probably used school supplies. Even then, knowing the mother, she probably would still buy the things she wanted and not used what others bought, though.
I struggle with these issues with my niece, who is also four years old. I want to buy her every cute thing I see, but she already has more than what she could ever use or play with. One friend of my parents buys her savings bonds for each birthday. That is a good idea. We should all consider this for children, especially the children who don't have any immediate needs for necessities. The craptastic toys we buy now will not be around when they are applying to college, or need a new uniform or braces or book rental. It is just so much wiser.
Yet I only know one person who does it.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Fun with Blasphemy
Today I was driving through Indiana, and I was listening to country music. I don't normally listen to country music, but occasionally on my cross-Indiana drives, I like to, because it seems appropriate. Also, because I have my radio on scan and there are a lot of country music stations in Indiana.
My radio is scanning away and I quickly hit seek to go back to that previous station. Something was intriguing about that country song.
He wanted to have a beer with Jesus.
Of course he did.
This made me think of a story my Mom told me the other day of a tiff in a store. Two women were arguing over something their children did and one mother said to the other, "You need to get Jesus in your life!" When the arguing continued, the first mother reiterated the point with blasphemic emphasis, "I'm serious you need to fucking get Jesus in your god damned life!"
~ Scene. ~
And then I came across this gem at Payless Shoe Source (b/c I'm just classy like that).
Nothing says "Turn the other cheek" like cross brass knuckles.
Edited to add this video, which isn't blatantly blasphemous, but definitely hilarious.
*Disclaimer - I am Christian. Doesn't mean I can't appreciate irony.
My radio is scanning away and I quickly hit seek to go back to that previous station. Something was intriguing about that country song.
He wanted to have a beer with Jesus.
Of course he did.
This made me think of a story my Mom told me the other day of a tiff in a store. Two women were arguing over something their children did and one mother said to the other, "You need to get Jesus in your life!" When the arguing continued, the first mother reiterated the point with blasphemic emphasis, "I'm serious you need to fucking get Jesus in your god damned life!"
~ Scene. ~
And then I came across this gem at Payless Shoe Source (b/c I'm just classy like that).
Nothing says "Turn the other cheek" like cross brass knuckles.
Edited to add this video, which isn't blatantly blasphemous, but definitely hilarious.
*Disclaimer - I am Christian. Doesn't mean I can't appreciate irony.
This guy... Thank you!
http://chrisbrecheen.blogspot.com.au/2013/07/changing-creepy-guy-narrative.html?m=1
Okay, this is one of the reasons why I like to stay fat. Seriously. After being raped, I didn't want people to notice me and not in that "I need to bone you right now" kind of way, but even like this. So annoying. (Especially black men in Chicago. Seriously dude. Stop.) Kudos to this dude. So funny.
Okay, this is one of the reasons why I like to stay fat. Seriously. After being raped, I didn't want people to notice me and not in that "I need to bone you right now" kind of way, but even like this. So annoying. (Especially black men in Chicago. Seriously dude. Stop.) Kudos to this dude. So funny.
Saturday, July 13, 2013
Another year older
Ten minutes before my birthday, time to cram in some self reflection.
This year, I was 35 years old.
I was a bit shocked by the number 35 because, well, it's not early thirties anymore. This is bona fide thirties. And it just sounds so... old. In just a few short minutes, I will be 36.
Holy crap.
But before I go on about the age, let me reflect on this last year.
On my birthday last year, I was cat sitting in Chicago, which is what I'm doing this year. I met up with Donna for Starbucks and later, dinner at the Himalayan restaurant. Unfortunately, this year Donna is up at the lake house so I didn't get to see her. I did see my cousins Teresa and Tricia, though, and my college friend, Nikki.
The most significant part of this year actually just happened last month. I completed teacher training. It was hard. It was difficult to get into and even more difficult to complete, but it was amazing. For the first time in a long time, I don't feel lost. I'm not struggling with figuring out what I want to do in life, where I want to live. I know that teaching is a career for me. Whether I end up in Indianapolis or in Northwest Indiana, I will have my own place to live and my own life. That is huge. I moved back in with my parents five years ago, now. That is way too long. That is the longest I've lived with them since moving out for college.
My parents have been a tremendous help, too. Not only with giving me a place to live, but also with helping me secure this position. I needed money to pay off my private loans to get my transcripts and Dad gave it to me. I needed a co-signer for the car loan, and Mom did it. They financially supported me during my training.
I am very fortunate.
I look forward to this next year of my life - this year of being 36. Of being a teacher. Of actually having a life in Indiana instead of waiting for life to happen elsewhere.
And it's midnight. I'm 36. Let's do this, 36 year old, Sabrina! You got this!
This year, I was 35 years old.
I was a bit shocked by the number 35 because, well, it's not early thirties anymore. This is bona fide thirties. And it just sounds so... old. In just a few short minutes, I will be 36.
Holy crap.
But before I go on about the age, let me reflect on this last year.
On my birthday last year, I was cat sitting in Chicago, which is what I'm doing this year. I met up with Donna for Starbucks and later, dinner at the Himalayan restaurant. Unfortunately, this year Donna is up at the lake house so I didn't get to see her. I did see my cousins Teresa and Tricia, though, and my college friend, Nikki.
The most significant part of this year actually just happened last month. I completed teacher training. It was hard. It was difficult to get into and even more difficult to complete, but it was amazing. For the first time in a long time, I don't feel lost. I'm not struggling with figuring out what I want to do in life, where I want to live. I know that teaching is a career for me. Whether I end up in Indianapolis or in Northwest Indiana, I will have my own place to live and my own life. That is huge. I moved back in with my parents five years ago, now. That is way too long. That is the longest I've lived with them since moving out for college.
My parents have been a tremendous help, too. Not only with giving me a place to live, but also with helping me secure this position. I needed money to pay off my private loans to get my transcripts and Dad gave it to me. I needed a co-signer for the car loan, and Mom did it. They financially supported me during my training.
I am very fortunate.
I look forward to this next year of my life - this year of being 36. Of being a teacher. Of actually having a life in Indiana instead of waiting for life to happen elsewhere.
And it's midnight. I'm 36. Let's do this, 36 year old, Sabrina! You got this!
Monday, July 08, 2013
Another Ex Encounter
So I recently met up with an old sex...er, I mean ex. I was a bit nervous because...I'm not sure how to sufficiently put it into words. Part of it was I afraid I would no longer measure up to his standards. Part of it was I wasn't sure if he would measure up to my standards. And part of it was I wasn't sure if this was going to lead to sex.
Thankfully, there was alcohol. Oh, alcohol! The libation - my salvation. Okay, not really. It's just the lubricant needed for such awkward encounters. Lubricant...
Speaking of which...
As we were lying in bed after the obligatory, "how you doing" bang, apropos of nothing, I said, "Remember when we were a couple?"
"Yeah", he replied.
"That was hilarious", I chuckled. And then we both burst into laughter.
I wish I had some life lesson to share here. Some take away from the experience. But I really don't. I think a little part of me was afraid that if I saw him, hugged him, fucked him, that I would rekindle the feelings I once had. That was not the case, and that is a GOOD THING! Part of me thought I was too old to have sex without a relationship anymore. That was not the case, and I guess that is a GOOD THING, too. I made all sorts of assumptions about myself based on a.) one bad experience in the recent past and b.) based on my new age. I guess I did have some lesson. You know what happens when you assume, right? You make an ASS out of u & me. There you have it, folks. Life lesson. No charge, it's a gift.
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