Well, I have successfully made my way to Manchester, England. I am staying at the lovely home of Sue, one of the people who will be interviewing me this coming week. She is director of the program to which I've applied. It feels like home here. They have been so nice to me. Sue and Nick, her husband (who shares my birthday) have two children; Annie, aged 10 and Tom, aged 14. They have a dog named Simpson, who is so calm; such a contrast to our rambuctious Licorice. Yesterday, me, Sue and Annie went to the mall. It was fun! Tomorrow, Sue and I are going into the office and I will do some volunteering.
The interview will be on Tuesday for two of us, and then I believe the third person has hers on Wednesday and then they will make a decision by Thursday. Then, I will either be staying here in Manchester, or going back to America.
While mostly everything is fine and dandy here, I did have to go to the doctor for a skin infection. It's so gross - I've got impetigo. It all started from a cut on the back of my neck and then it got infected. I got some antibiotic cream and if that doesn't clear it up then I have to go back for some pills. Yucko puey.
Jason was really nice to me before I left Belfast. Knowing that I was having a rough time with the drama about Ronan, work and moving country, he invited me over the night before I was scheduled to leave. Before we walked into his room, he stopped and said, 'this is the last night I'm going to see you' and when I replied, 'yes', he opened the door and I couldn't believe what I saw. I swear to God, it was possibly the most romantic thing I've ever experienced. He had fixed the room up such that there were candles lit in the four corners. Music was playing in the background and well, I nearly burst into tears. Anyhow, you get the idea....
The real knight in shining armour bit comes the next night, though, when I turned up at his house with all my luggage b/c I couldn't get on the plane. Once me and my stuff were safely inside, I did burst into tears and went on about Ronan, and the plane, and easyjet and the taxi driver and blah blah blah. Anyhow, he listened and helped calm me down and let me lie down in his bed (while he was in the living room, people!), carried my stuff upstairs and let me keep more than half of it at his place. Oh and most importantly, he bought me pizza and chips! ;-)
Created as a daily update of my time volunteering in Belfast, Northern Ireland with pages from other trips to Ireland and England. Now a journal of my travels through life.
Sunday, January 25, 2004
Thursday, January 22, 2004
Dude - not going well. I'm in Edinburgh. I got in a car accident. I went to the hospital. I'm leaving Edinburgh tomorrow.
First, I couldn't get on the plane b/c I had too much luggage. I was flying easyjet which is like a bargain basement airline and they only allow like 5 ounces of luggage or something and there were no more flights to Edinburgh that day, so I had to reschedule for the next day. This left me having lug all my luggage across Belfast again and leave some of it behind.
So when I finally did get there, I get into a car accident on the way from the airport to the house in Edinburgh. A lane change gone wrong ended up with the cars colliding on my side. The other car was a big ol' SUV. Ah well. I went to 'Accident and Emergency' and they said I had whiplash and seatbelt injuries and general soft tissue bruising, which is all par for the course in an accident like this one - so basically, I was fine.
Right, well I'm at an Internet cafe b/c I had to book a flight, which is the next part of my story. I am flying to Manchester tomorrow regarding another volunteer opportunity and fingers crossed that things work out better there! The main stress factor in all this is that I now have £6 to my name and well, you can't get a whole hell of a lot for £6.
Anyhow, my time is running low here at the ol' Internet place, but that's how things are going. I know that I'm lucky to even be able to have this experience at all, and I am merely annoyed if nothing else. I may be going home next week depending on how things go in Manchester, but that's okay, b/c I miss Licorice!
First, I couldn't get on the plane b/c I had too much luggage. I was flying easyjet which is like a bargain basement airline and they only allow like 5 ounces of luggage or something and there were no more flights to Edinburgh that day, so I had to reschedule for the next day. This left me having lug all my luggage across Belfast again and leave some of it behind.
So when I finally did get there, I get into a car accident on the way from the airport to the house in Edinburgh. A lane change gone wrong ended up with the cars colliding on my side. The other car was a big ol' SUV. Ah well. I went to 'Accident and Emergency' and they said I had whiplash and seatbelt injuries and general soft tissue bruising, which is all par for the course in an accident like this one - so basically, I was fine.
Right, well I'm at an Internet cafe b/c I had to book a flight, which is the next part of my story. I am flying to Manchester tomorrow regarding another volunteer opportunity and fingers crossed that things work out better there! The main stress factor in all this is that I now have £6 to my name and well, you can't get a whole hell of a lot for £6.
Anyhow, my time is running low here at the ol' Internet place, but that's how things are going. I know that I'm lucky to even be able to have this experience at all, and I am merely annoyed if nothing else. I may be going home next week depending on how things go in Manchester, but that's okay, b/c I miss Licorice!
Thursday, January 15, 2004
Men! I swear, they will be the end of me. What do I have to do to become a nun? I have no idea if Ronan is coming here tomorrow. I don't even know if we're still together. I have no idea what's going on.
I have managed to do a couple of loads of laundry, though, which is helping me along with my goal of packing. I can't believe how much crap I have. I can't believe how soon I am leaving. I keep thinking of all the things I didn't do during my time here in Belfast. I hate feeling that way. I am trying to see the positive, though, in that, while I may not have seen all the touristy things, I have gotten a feel for Belfast that not many people from outside of here get.
Okay, here's a hint for anyone who doesn't know me so well. If you want to get on my bad side, call me psycho. Or crazy or schizo or any variation of the sort. This is a good way to ensure me getting pissed at you. And I won't forget it, either. You see, back in the day, way back in the early 90s, before the Internet, before Mars exploration, even before Justin Timberlake, I was just a normal teenager going about my life with my nice little high school boyfriend. Yes, we were known as a couple back in those days b/c our relationship was practically life long when measured in high school years. Given our inexperience in romantic relationships, we made a lot of bad decisions in our dealings with one another. For example, to win arguments, we would completely break down the other person by twisting the knife where we knew it would hurt most. Now for me, this was a few things, but one of them was crazy, or overemotional, or irrational, or whatever. Now go a little further into my teenage life and you will see the big black hole known as the attack. Now, the attack led to a police investigation and a grand jury hearing. Statements were taken, questions were asked, witnesses were called. Something like this does not stay a secret long in high school land. Especially when witnesses are fellow classmates and you have to turn in your subpoena to the attendance office as your excuse note for why you missed class. There are two ways this helped lead to my psycho complex. 1.) The attacker said I was lying. His defense was based on my being irrational, crazy, overemotional. 2.) When word got out, there were those in school who believed I was lying, and then called me psycho. Oh wait, there's a third. 3.) When I had trouble dealing with the fact that I had been attacked, my sweet high school boyfriend believed I was overreacting and said, "It's been two weeks, you should be over it."
Why am I bringing this up now, you ask? Ronan phoned me today and said that his friends believed I was a psychopath and that if they were him, they would not get near me with a ten foot pole.
Yes, honey, my day was fine, how was yours?
I have managed to do a couple of loads of laundry, though, which is helping me along with my goal of packing. I can't believe how much crap I have. I can't believe how soon I am leaving. I keep thinking of all the things I didn't do during my time here in Belfast. I hate feeling that way. I am trying to see the positive, though, in that, while I may not have seen all the touristy things, I have gotten a feel for Belfast that not many people from outside of here get.
Okay, here's a hint for anyone who doesn't know me so well. If you want to get on my bad side, call me psycho. Or crazy or schizo or any variation of the sort. This is a good way to ensure me getting pissed at you. And I won't forget it, either. You see, back in the day, way back in the early 90s, before the Internet, before Mars exploration, even before Justin Timberlake, I was just a normal teenager going about my life with my nice little high school boyfriend. Yes, we were known as a couple back in those days b/c our relationship was practically life long when measured in high school years. Given our inexperience in romantic relationships, we made a lot of bad decisions in our dealings with one another. For example, to win arguments, we would completely break down the other person by twisting the knife where we knew it would hurt most. Now for me, this was a few things, but one of them was crazy, or overemotional, or irrational, or whatever. Now go a little further into my teenage life and you will see the big black hole known as the attack. Now, the attack led to a police investigation and a grand jury hearing. Statements were taken, questions were asked, witnesses were called. Something like this does not stay a secret long in high school land. Especially when witnesses are fellow classmates and you have to turn in your subpoena to the attendance office as your excuse note for why you missed class. There are two ways this helped lead to my psycho complex. 1.) The attacker said I was lying. His defense was based on my being irrational, crazy, overemotional. 2.) When word got out, there were those in school who believed I was lying, and then called me psycho. Oh wait, there's a third. 3.) When I had trouble dealing with the fact that I had been attacked, my sweet high school boyfriend believed I was overreacting and said, "It's been two weeks, you should be over it."
Why am I bringing this up now, you ask? Ronan phoned me today and said that his friends believed I was a psychopath and that if they were him, they would not get near me with a ten foot pole.
Yes, honey, my day was fine, how was yours?
Yippee yi yay! I have passed the 20,000 mile mark! Woohoo! I signed up for American Airlines' Advantage program, which is like the frequent flier thing, earlier this month, and they gave me credit for the flights I had taken since June, and low and behold, I'm almost at Gold Status. Gold is 25,000 miles. I had read about the miles phenomenon and how some people become obsessed with getting more miles, like through their credit card or whatever. I feel like that now, though the only way I can get the miles is to actually fly. I'm looking at easyJet now for flights between Belfast and Edinburgh b/c......drum roll please.....
I'm moving to Edinburgh. Saturday. This Saturday. Why I am looking for flights is b/c Ronan and I are back together. I am hoping that we will be treading many miles between the two countries. The flight is only 50 minutes. However, the trip from Derry to the airport is about two hours. Hey, I didn't say it was perfect. There is also another airline that flies from Derry to Glasgow, and then you can take the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh, so whatever works.
Wow, these pop up ads are driving me insane and I can't believe it's nearing 7 in the morning. I felt a bit overwhelmed by the prospect of staying here, and now a feel a bit overwhelmed with the reality of leaving here. I have so much stuff in my room and so much laundry and yeah, I really need to start packing. Oh dear, I think I'm making myself nervous now.
Ronan is coming here to Belfast on Friday (tomorrow!). I'm so excited. It has been over a month since I've seen him.
Well, I think I'll take a shower now. Don't think I'll get back to sleep. Hope all is well.
Lots of love,
Sabrina ;-)
I'm moving to Edinburgh. Saturday. This Saturday. Why I am looking for flights is b/c Ronan and I are back together. I am hoping that we will be treading many miles between the two countries. The flight is only 50 minutes. However, the trip from Derry to the airport is about two hours. Hey, I didn't say it was perfect. There is also another airline that flies from Derry to Glasgow, and then you can take the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh, so whatever works.
Wow, these pop up ads are driving me insane and I can't believe it's nearing 7 in the morning. I felt a bit overwhelmed by the prospect of staying here, and now a feel a bit overwhelmed with the reality of leaving here. I have so much stuff in my room and so much laundry and yeah, I really need to start packing. Oh dear, I think I'm making myself nervous now.
Ronan is coming here to Belfast on Friday (tomorrow!). I'm so excited. It has been over a month since I've seen him.
Well, I think I'll take a shower now. Don't think I'll get back to sleep. Hope all is well.
Lots of love,
Sabrina ;-)
Monday, January 12, 2004
Today I looked very much like an American. I felt like I was dressing up as an American for Halloween or something - with my tie-dyed Hard Rock Cafe shirt, track suit bottoms, baseball cap, I was the epitome of American gear. I also had my (American) accent back totally for like a day, before the Belfast brogue started slipping back in. As you can tell, I still have my American way of communicating with 'like' and 'totally' and don't even get me started with 'dude'.
In a strange twist of fate, the cab driver I had today remembered me from driving me home like months ago. I didn't remember him, which I usually do, but he remembered I was from Chicago and everything. Interesting.
Peter's friends are here from Germany, so I am the only person in this house right now who is not speaking German. I wish I could. Peter just came in and said something to Eva in German. I knew what he was saying from the context and wished I could reply in German, but I had to settle for English. I know a little bit of a few languages, and there are just some sayings I like in certain languages. For example, "Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?" in French - meaning 'what's wrong?' or 'what's the problem?' In Japanese - "Ohisashiburi desu ne" means "I haven't seen you for ages". The longer you haven't seen someone, the longer you hold out the last syllable (which is pronounced NAY). Pretty cool, huh? Or, German - Geshundheit when someone sneezes. Eva just explained that it means 'health'. The Irish 'Slainte' which also means health, but is a toast when drinking.
I really want to study French again and become fluent. I would really love to study multiple languages. I have been looking more into law school over here and some offer a combo with French. I'm supposed to be able to complete the degree in a shorter period of time since I already have a bachelor's degree. Law, here, is an undergraduate degree.
I spoke with the representative from the volunteer project in England and discussed their organization possibly sponsoring me to volunteer here in Belfast at the Community Centre I like. I also got a message from the Scottish organization to ring them tomorrow so we can arrange my visit. I filled out an application for a Christian peace centre here in Northern Ireland, about an hour away from Belfast. I just want to know if I'm accepted, visit them all, and then choose. Like by the end of this week would be ideal. I feel like I'm just drawing things out here at the Cottage and I'm really, really ready to move on.
********************************
Don't make it a big deal, don't be so sensitive.
We're not playing a game anymore, you don't have to be so defensive.
Sleep to dream - Fiona Apple
In a strange twist of fate, the cab driver I had today remembered me from driving me home like months ago. I didn't remember him, which I usually do, but he remembered I was from Chicago and everything. Interesting.
Peter's friends are here from Germany, so I am the only person in this house right now who is not speaking German. I wish I could. Peter just came in and said something to Eva in German. I knew what he was saying from the context and wished I could reply in German, but I had to settle for English. I know a little bit of a few languages, and there are just some sayings I like in certain languages. For example, "Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?" in French - meaning 'what's wrong?' or 'what's the problem?' In Japanese - "Ohisashiburi desu ne" means "I haven't seen you for ages". The longer you haven't seen someone, the longer you hold out the last syllable (which is pronounced NAY). Pretty cool, huh? Or, German - Geshundheit when someone sneezes. Eva just explained that it means 'health'. The Irish 'Slainte' which also means health, but is a toast when drinking.
I really want to study French again and become fluent. I would really love to study multiple languages. I have been looking more into law school over here and some offer a combo with French. I'm supposed to be able to complete the degree in a shorter period of time since I already have a bachelor's degree. Law, here, is an undergraduate degree.
I spoke with the representative from the volunteer project in England and discussed their organization possibly sponsoring me to volunteer here in Belfast at the Community Centre I like. I also got a message from the Scottish organization to ring them tomorrow so we can arrange my visit. I filled out an application for a Christian peace centre here in Northern Ireland, about an hour away from Belfast. I just want to know if I'm accepted, visit them all, and then choose. Like by the end of this week would be ideal. I feel like I'm just drawing things out here at the Cottage and I'm really, really ready to move on.
********************************
Don't make it a big deal, don't be so sensitive.
We're not playing a game anymore, you don't have to be so defensive.
Sleep to dream - Fiona Apple
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you are like my brothers and get faint by talk of feminine hygiene products, look away now. The Diva Cup is an alternative to tampons and pads. It apparently catches the flow and you just empty it, rinse and reuse. You only use one like forever, apparently. I wanted to see one, but there were no retailers in my area. Has anyone seen this? I didn't want to shell out $25 and get a dixie cup or something! Well, the testimonials sound convincing enough. I came across this from a blog on Metafilter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you are like my brothers and get faint by talk of feminine hygiene products, look away now. The Diva Cup is an alternative to tampons and pads. It apparently catches the flow and you just empty it, rinse and reuse. You only use one like forever, apparently. I wanted to see one, but there were no retailers in my area. Has anyone seen this? I didn't want to shell out $25 and get a dixie cup or something! Well, the testimonials sound convincing enough. I came across this from a blog on Metafilter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sunday, January 11, 2004
Happy Birthday, Adam!
Today is my youngest brother's 22nd birthday.
Did I mention that I dyed my hair red? Yeah, I know my hair is red, but I dyed it like bright red. I was getting comments that I looked more brunette and some even accused of not being a redhead at all. Anyhow, I like the new color; it spices things up a bit.
Now that I am less jet lagged and delirious, I can talk about the journey back over the Atlantic. Where to begin? Well, I had the opportunity to assist a woman who passed out on the plane. This did involve exposing my bra to the people in my cabin, but you don't really care when it is an emergency. I got to see London Gatwick airport, which will hopefully be the last time I see London Gatwick airport. I actually had nightmares about it when I got back to Belfast. I woke up in my sleep screaming "they didn't even have people movers!" Sad, but true. I also started crying while in line at McDonald's waiting for a Happy Meal. It had nothing to do with the Happy Meal, though it did remind me of that scene in "Big Daddy" when Adam Sandler yells, "Can somebody get this kid a Happy Meal?!" Usually, by the time I get to London, I am so tired anyways, and this trip was just more draining than usual, that my emotions got the better of me.
Let's see, what else? Oh I got a movie star style coat that is oh-so-fab. I have got to get a big pair of dark sunglasses so I can look like I'm 'incognito'. ;-)
The weather is so beautiful here in Belfast. My goodness Chicago was cold. I mean, it's winter weather here, but I don't feel like I am going to get frostbite while walking out to the car, as I did at home.
Well, now that I am feeling new and refreshed, I suppose I should start unpacking. Hope all is well with everyone.
Lots of love,
Sabrina ;-)
-------------------------------------------------------------
I have never been so insulted in all my life
I could swallow the seas to wash down all this pride
First, you run like a fool just to be at my side
Now you run like a fool but you just run to hide
and I can't abide
"Sleep to dream" - Fiona Apple
Today is my youngest brother's 22nd birthday.
Did I mention that I dyed my hair red? Yeah, I know my hair is red, but I dyed it like bright red. I was getting comments that I looked more brunette and some even accused of not being a redhead at all. Anyhow, I like the new color; it spices things up a bit.
Now that I am less jet lagged and delirious, I can talk about the journey back over the Atlantic. Where to begin? Well, I had the opportunity to assist a woman who passed out on the plane. This did involve exposing my bra to the people in my cabin, but you don't really care when it is an emergency. I got to see London Gatwick airport, which will hopefully be the last time I see London Gatwick airport. I actually had nightmares about it when I got back to Belfast. I woke up in my sleep screaming "they didn't even have people movers!" Sad, but true. I also started crying while in line at McDonald's waiting for a Happy Meal. It had nothing to do with the Happy Meal, though it did remind me of that scene in "Big Daddy" when Adam Sandler yells, "Can somebody get this kid a Happy Meal?!" Usually, by the time I get to London, I am so tired anyways, and this trip was just more draining than usual, that my emotions got the better of me.
Let's see, what else? Oh I got a movie star style coat that is oh-so-fab. I have got to get a big pair of dark sunglasses so I can look like I'm 'incognito'. ;-)
The weather is so beautiful here in Belfast. My goodness Chicago was cold. I mean, it's winter weather here, but I don't feel like I am going to get frostbite while walking out to the car, as I did at home.
Well, now that I am feeling new and refreshed, I suppose I should start unpacking. Hope all is well with everyone.
Lots of love,
Sabrina ;-)
-------------------------------------------------------------
I have never been so insulted in all my life
I could swallow the seas to wash down all this pride
First, you run like a fool just to be at my side
Now you run like a fool but you just run to hide
and I can't abide
"Sleep to dream" - Fiona Apple
Saturday, January 10, 2004
Have an old book or magazine that you're not selling on ebay? Donate it to a library in Zambia. They ask that you put an inspirational message on the inside, if possible.
http://booksforzambia.com/
http://booksforzambia.com/
Okay - total buzzkill about to follow.
During my visit home to America, I learned that people in my hometown don't know about the big Coke Scandal. This really surprised me, as there is much ado about it over here n the UK. This apparently isn't your run of the mill child labor dispute. This actually involves murder.
Good thing I drink Pepsi.
http://www.cokewatch.org
During my visit home to America, I learned that people in my hometown don't know about the big Coke Scandal. This really surprised me, as there is much ado about it over here n the UK. This apparently isn't your run of the mill child labor dispute. This actually involves murder.
Good thing I drink Pepsi.
http://www.cokewatch.org
Friday, January 09, 2004
Back in Belfast. Jet lagged and tired. As often as I travel, I always look like a novice and someone asked me one of my flights, 'is this your first time flying?' Anyhow, I am still a bit delirious, but wanted to post. I'm pasting in a post from December 23 (the day before I left Belfast) that I never got around to putting up. Enjoy, and I'll fill you in on all the travel details later. Until then, I'm Pat Sajak.
I watched ‘Fight Club’ last night. That is one messed up movie. I can’t stop thinking about it and I even dreamt of alternative endings for it last night. I already knew the ‘surprise’ at the end, but that’s actually when it got really good – after that was divulged.
More hampers and toys off today. We finished early, about 1:30. I can’t believe I’m flying to America tomorrow. I’m not the least bit prepared. I’m hoping to just have a carry on bag because I don’t need much considering I have a room full of stuff at home anyways. I can’t wait to sort through all of that and get rid of it. I’m donating so much of it and that will feel better.
To get everyone in the Christmas spirit, I’m going to share a song with you that I learned during my time here in Quaker Cottage. Perhaps you have heard of it…
When Santa got stuck up the chimney,
he began to shout,
you girls and boys
won’t get any toys
if you don’t pull me out
my beard is black,
there’s soot on my sack
my nose is tickly too
when Santa got stuck up the chimney,
Achoo, achoo, achoo!
Wasn’t that lovely?
Now if I could only remember the words to Frosty the Snowman….
I watched ‘Fight Club’ last night. That is one messed up movie. I can’t stop thinking about it and I even dreamt of alternative endings for it last night. I already knew the ‘surprise’ at the end, but that’s actually when it got really good – after that was divulged.
More hampers and toys off today. We finished early, about 1:30. I can’t believe I’m flying to America tomorrow. I’m not the least bit prepared. I’m hoping to just have a carry on bag because I don’t need much considering I have a room full of stuff at home anyways. I can’t wait to sort through all of that and get rid of it. I’m donating so much of it and that will feel better.
To get everyone in the Christmas spirit, I’m going to share a song with you that I learned during my time here in Quaker Cottage. Perhaps you have heard of it…
When Santa got stuck up the chimney,
he began to shout,
you girls and boys
won’t get any toys
if you don’t pull me out
my beard is black,
there’s soot on my sack
my nose is tickly too
when Santa got stuck up the chimney,
Achoo, achoo, achoo!
Wasn’t that lovely?
Now if I could only remember the words to Frosty the Snowman….
Wednesday, January 07, 2004
I can't believe it's already time to go back. I will be leaving my parents' house and America, for that matter in just a couple of days. I'm getting sad b/c my Mom is getting sad and that makes me feel guilty for leaving. I'll miss the puppy loads. I guess I'm just a little nervous, too, since I have no idea where my next project will be - not even the country to which I'll be moving. There are also some things I wanted to accomplish during my time here which I wasn't able to do; - Go to the dentist, donate my stuff, visit certain people, etc. I did go with Angie today to get measured for the bridesmaid dress, so that's a big obligation I managed to fulfill. We went out to lunch at Applebees, and it was oh so yummy. I miss the sit down restaurant atmosphere when I'm away from America.
Last night I started questioning what it is I want to do in life and where it is that I'm going. I've come across setbacks in setting up my non profit organization here in Hammond, and then I started remembering why it was I hadn't done direct services before. I felt I could make a bigger impact by working in policy and advocacy. This reminded me that that's why I want to go to law school, etc. etc. I guess I just have to step back every now and again and refocus. I do want to law school, and I had decided to do that in the UK b/c of finances. I need to find out more details.
Ronan and I began talking again while he was here in America. He is dating someone back in Derry, though, and I haven't really spoken to him since he got back. He said he was going to end things with her and we are supposed to give our relationship another go. I guess I'm a bit apprehensive about that as well, b/c I feel like we still have the same issues we had before and I wonder if we'll both be patient enough this time to work through them. The fact that I may be moving to a different country, however close it may be, may also throw a wrench into our plans.
I guess there are just a lot of variables that I am going to face upon my return and when they're all put together, it seems like a large mountain to climb. There's a whole lot of positive, but there's a struggle to get there.
Last night I started questioning what it is I want to do in life and where it is that I'm going. I've come across setbacks in setting up my non profit organization here in Hammond, and then I started remembering why it was I hadn't done direct services before. I felt I could make a bigger impact by working in policy and advocacy. This reminded me that that's why I want to go to law school, etc. etc. I guess I just have to step back every now and again and refocus. I do want to law school, and I had decided to do that in the UK b/c of finances. I need to find out more details.
Ronan and I began talking again while he was here in America. He is dating someone back in Derry, though, and I haven't really spoken to him since he got back. He said he was going to end things with her and we are supposed to give our relationship another go. I guess I'm a bit apprehensive about that as well, b/c I feel like we still have the same issues we had before and I wonder if we'll both be patient enough this time to work through them. The fact that I may be moving to a different country, however close it may be, may also throw a wrench into our plans.
I guess there are just a lot of variables that I am going to face upon my return and when they're all put together, it seems like a large mountain to climb. There's a whole lot of positive, but there's a struggle to get there.
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