Anniversary - Veg Style

On this day, many, many years ago, I became a vegetarian.  I believe it was 1994 - so 13 years ago (that trig comes in handy, I tell ya).  My dad was in the hospital having surgery on his back, I was going thru high school drama.  My mom made pork chops for dinner and I looked at it and was like, "hey, this is the same shape it was when it was actually in the animal."  I was forever changed and couldn't eat meat again.  I started off with the pork chops and ribs, fried chicken and other items in their original shape but finally I just couldn't differentiate any more and I quit altogether.  I still eat eggs and dairy - so I'm a lacto-ovo vegetarian.  I had tried to quit the eggs and dairy but got so frustrated when I was out at lunch with my friends at McDonald's, ordered a salad, and found the dressing had eggs!  When I thought about it, I remembered being on my Granddaddy's farm and getting the eggs from the nests and I was totally fine with that.  I later learned about cage free eggs and all that jazz, but I'm cool with where I'm at with the veggie life.  Of course, when I moved to the co-op in Chicago, I felt like a full fledged carnivore compared to all the organic vegans.  I thought I was frugal for buying clothes at Dots for like $3, they bought their clothes from the thrift store for 50 cents, or even better, got it from a dumpster, or grew their own organic cotton and made their own clothes from a two hundred year old loom from the underground railway (okay so it wasn't that bad, but still).  Working at American Eagle downtown and occasionally getting a McDonald's cheeseburger no meat made me like the consumerist enemy or something.  I thought that I would totally fit in at the co-op given my tree-hugging ways, but apparently I wasn't tree-hugging enough for the tree-huggers.  I guess I'm just in the middle - not carnivore enough for the meat eaters, don't spend enough to be considered consumeristic by most, but not exactly ready to chuck it all and move to the monastery, or hippie commune, just yet.

Copied from myspace blog on 11/10/13

Rest in Peace

Missing you today. Wanted to talk to you so bad. Mom is wearing your necklace and Dad wears your ring on a chain around his neck. Making a rosary from the roses on your casket. I thought the hard part was over, but I'm finding out it's just beginning. I filled out your Mom's paperwork tonight and I'll bring it to her caseworker tomorrow. I want to do right by you, Mike, and I want to be sure I make the right choices for your family. Please help me. I talked to Jen tonight and she was such a great help. She suggested I pray on it, and I will. This picture of you isn't the "nicest" but it shows you vulnerable and tired, even with tears in your eyes and it reminds me of all those nights we talked for hours. This picture reminds me of the Mike I knew and loved, real, honest.... God, I miss you so much. I love you, Mike!

The wake

The wake was tonight.  Mike didn't really look like Mike, but then again, they never do.  His hair did feel the same - full of hairspray!  I had told Danielle I don't think he would've liked his hair at all b/c it was not spiky, but at least it had a lot of product in it (just like he wore).

He looked old.  Like creases around his eyes really stood out.  Standing right up next to him, though, seeing those eyelashes of his, it just seemed like he could take a breath, stretch out and get right up.  He was cold.  I touched his arm once but it was freezing, so I could only bear to touch his hair.  I joked that that was something he would never let me do when he was alive!

He had a guitar in the coffin with him - had Nirvana on it.  There was a rosary hanging above him on the coffin and there was a rosary in his hands, which were put together.  His face looked bigger than it was when he was alive.  When I had seen the body from the coroner's office, I was afraid there wouldn't be anything left, he was barely there.  So, I was happy that he didn't look too thin or gaunt.

Some girls that he and Jen had coached brought in a basketball signed by what I assume were team mates.  That was very nice.

I was doing alright at the wake until Jared and Wesley walked in together and then I lost it.  After I talked to them for awhile, though, it actually made me feel better.

I drove to the cemetery yesterday and today to see where he will be buried.  It is very near to his grandparents, so that's nice.  It's a nice, small cemetery, so it's not hard to find who you're looking for.

Sandy came right at the end and she is taking this really hard.  I mean, not only b/c she's known Mike since he was in pre-school, but also b/c she lost her own daughter six years ago and she says she's sick of going to funerals for "kids".  She told Mike's Dad that now they all have a special angel looking over them, that is the job of the young angels God takes.

For those of us, here, life goes on.  Phil's birthday is tomorrow, I sent him an e-card.  Didn't get a chance to send out his paper card.  Ronan im'd me and sent his regrets and I'll be back to work by the end of the week.  Maybe now all of us who are affected by this passing will take life less for granted and be sure we live it in such a way that there are no regrets.  I am so thankful that I have no regrets with Mike. I said everything I had wanted to say, I did everything I wanted to do and I was as good a friend to him as I could possibly be.  No regrets.

Copied from myspace blog 11/10/13

Funeral Arrangements

Funeral arrangments have been made for Mike Watson.

Solan-Pruzin Funeral Home
7109 Calumet Avenue
Hammond, IN
(219) 931-5762

Wake - Monday, March 19th 4:00 - 7:00 p.m.
Funeral - Tuesday, March 20th, 10:30 a.m.
Burial to follow at St. Nicholas Cemetery, Hammond

Obituary will run in the Hammond Times (www.nwitimes.com) on Saturday and Sunday.

Donations can be made to the Mike Watson Memorial Fund at any Harris Bank branch location or mailed to:
1433 173rd St.Hammond, IN 46324

Thank you.

The Funeral

So, the family and I went to the funeral home and finalized the arrangements.  The wake will be on Monday evening, about 4-7 and the funeral will be on Tuesday morning. March 20th at 10:30 a.m. at the Solan-Pruzin Funeral Home, 7109 Calumet Avenue, Hammond.  The obituary will run in Saturday and Sunday's Hammond Times.  He will be buried in St. Nicholas Cemetery.

I followed the body from the coroner to the funeral home and got to see him, which was so important to me.   Anyhow, I'm drained, it's been a long day.  I spent part of the time at the funeral home sitting in front of the toilet just ugh...

So, good news though, b/c having the body at the morgue was absolutely breaking our hearts.  Oh yeah, and an account has been set up for donations to the Mike Watson Memorial Fund at Harris Bank.  Donations can be made at any branch.

http://www.myspace.com/nitrox2dive

www.geocities.com/sabrinigreen/mike

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=18428468

Please feel free to add photos to the Find a Grave memorial.  I just added the one I have in one of my online albums.

Copied from myspace blog on 11/10/13

The funeral home has agreed to let us bury Michael and make payments. We are going tomorrow at noon to make the arrangements and the parents will sign a release to move the body from the coroner's to the funeral home. It is likely that there will be a service the day after tomorrow.

Today I went to Mike's apartment w/his brother and sister in law. Of course, I broke down and leaned against the kitchen counter to stop me from falling to my knees. I got it out early, though, and we worked a bit on packing up his stuff. Going back tomorrow.

I got a framed cross with the Lord's Prayer that I had bought for him as a gift. It was hanging on his wall. The sister in law found a picture of me and Mike and gave it to me. His brother had to tell her it was me, though, b/c she didn't recognize me from the photo! I'm so glad she found it.

Mike was always so cute! He is the love of my life and I'm so happy that we were able to reconnect after all those years to have these last two and half years in each other's lives. I have never, ever, found a man I loved more than him or that I felt was more handsome than him. He was perfect to me and I'm so crushed that he's gone. He was my best friend and the one who knew me all thru my life and knew me better than I knew myself. He knew my thoughts before I could think them and he would set me straight when I would get down. I will miss him more than I can imagine.

Mike is gone

Mike is gone

Mike died Sunday. I can't breathe but I can't sleep either. I just left his mom's side. I'm going to help clean out his apartment tomorrow.
He died of a blood clot in his lung. The coroner told me that this afternoon and confirmed with his Dad this evening. He died of natural causes.

There's no money for a funeral so we're trying to raise it. In the meantime, he is in the morgue and the coroner won't let me see him b/c it is a "biohazard". How can this beautiful man's body be in a room considered in such a way? And man, was he beautiful. God, I loved him so much. I'm so thankful he was in my life and I'm so grateful that he and I were able to get back in touch after all those years.

He is and always will be the love of my life and that will never change.
I love you, Mike, and I miss you so much!!!

If you would like to donate, please email me at sabrina.uk at gmail.com Thank you.
http://www.geocities.com/sabrinigreen/mike

Mike is gone

Mike died Sunday.  I can't breathe but I can't sleep either.  I just left his mom's side.  I'm going to help clean out his apartment tomorrow.

He died of a blood clot in his lung.  The coroner told me that this afternoon and confirmed with his Dad this evening.  He died of natural causes.

There's no money for a funeral so we're trying to raise it. In the meantime, he is in the morgue and the coroner won't let me see him b/c it is a "biohazard".   How can this beautiful man's body be in a room considered in such a way?  And man, was he beautiful.  God, I loved him so much.  I'm so thankful he was in my life and I'm so grateful that he and I were able to get back in touch after all those years.

Pasted in from myspace blog on 11/10/13

Another Blind Interview

Going on job interviews lately has reminded me of going on blind dates. Bad ones. Had another one today; interview, I mean. It went well, but I'm not holding my breath. Just like dating, I am sick of being in temporary situations. I want something real, something permanent. I've been living in this new city for nearly a year now, which is really the longest time I've spent anywhere in a very long time. I started hanging pictures on the walls, with real nails and hooks - which are more permanent than the double sided tape or blue tack I had used before. I'm ready for the real thing. A real job, a real home, a real love, a real family.

I've been feeling like I want to start a family of my own. I've been going to the dr. regularly, monitoring everything and I'm ready to get my body in a place where I can healthily bring a baby into the world. I had been thinking of fostering and adopting, but just recently, I've been feeling like I want to also have a child of my own.

I suppose that doesn't make me any different from most women my age, but it is different for me. I've been craving change for so long, that permanence is a whole new concept.