Today I was awoken by a tapping on my door. One of the young people was eager to tell me about a plan for community safety. I was awoken again about an hour later by the same young person and three of his friends who were bored and wanted some work to do. I gave them some flyers to deliver and they were on their way. Fifteen minutes later they were back and I was getting ready to go to the grocery store. They wanted to come with, so we went and asked their parents and away we were. We stopped at McDonald's on the way back, too, where, much to their surprise I got a Happy Meal (no meat).

It was a good day, but I was appalled to see how the adults talk to them. The language they use - and they wonder where the kids get it! They always seem to assume the worst with them, as well. It's like the kids are merely acting out some self fulfilling prophecy or something. Like Kate (my boss, the director of the project) says, if we don't expect great things from them, who will?

-----------------------------------------------------

This just arrived in my e-mail box.

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already,
three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded,
and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an
abortion?
Read the next question before scrolling down to the answer of this one.

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the
facts about the three leading candidates:

Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults
with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes
and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon,used
opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian,
doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any
extramarital affairs.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?
(Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer).












Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Candidate B is Winston Churchill,
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.


And by the way: Answer to the abortion question if you said yes,
you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it?

Well, apparently Friday isn't my strongest day of the week, either! I did exactly the same thing today. I am sleeping far too much. I keep saying that it's PMS, or b/c I'm on my period, or it's my medication, but no matter what it is, it isn't normal!

Saying that, though, I remember going through this in Belfast and my doctor gave me iron pills. My energy level really increased for awhile and then I mysteriously got violently ill and stopped taking them. Another doctor told me iron pills can be hard on your stomach and perhaps I could just do with a normal multivitamin. I never did start taking a multivitamin. Maybe I should look into that...

I finally got some credit for my phone today. Yippee! I called Jason to celebrate. He wanted to know what was up, and I just said, I have credit, that's what! I haven't been able to call anyone, well, basically ever since I've been in Manchester. I had credit once before, but I used it up on a phone call to my Mom in America.

In regards to the making friends situation, a guy called Hugo from the Young Quakers phoned me up today and we're meeting up for lunch next week. The International Society emailed me back on the details of membership and now I just have to get my over tired behind over to their office and check it out.

My house is a complete tip. I started cleaning up this morning, but then I fell asleep. I did manage to get a load of laundry of done and my recycling rinsed out. I still have suitcases open in the living room and pluck things out of there from time to time. Since someone might be moving in at the end of next week, I suppose I should put just a wee bit more effort into it.

It snowed last night. Yippee! It looked really pretty as it was coming down over the lamp posts and town houses. It actually stuck on the ground this time, but was melted by this afternoon, which is fine and dandy with me, b/c it may look pretty coming down, but it's not pretty trying to walk in it!

Wednesday. Not typically my strongest day of the week. I got up and ate and then went back to sleep waking up at an astonishing 3:30 p.m. What is wrong with me? Surely normal people don't sleep this much, do they? I went to bed at about 10:30 last night and was probably asleep within an hour. I don't know. Maybe I was a cat in a past life.

Today I did something daring. I cut my nails as short as they can go. My fingernails are usually really long despite my not trying, and today I chopped them off. I can type a lot faster, but it does feel a bit weird and scratching is not nearly as satisfying...

Yesterday was pancake day here in the UK. Other countries and cultures celebrate this day as Mardi Gras, but no, the Brits just make pancakes. How very British.

So today starts Lent. Anyone giving anything up? A lot of people give up chocolate until Easter, but I'm afraid I would go a bit crazy without chocolate for that long.

Because I've been so lonely here in Manchester, Sue has given me some leads on where lonely foreign people go. I contacted the International Society, the Young Quakers and American expats of the Northwest. Maybe I'll make some friends through them...

I have a headache b/c I've not eaten since breakfast and I need to go home and have some soup and a tasty cheese and tomato sandwich. I have no money as usual and have to set aside the pound in change that I did have for my bus fare tomorrow. Ho hum.

I guess I'm a bit cranky and hungry at the mo, so I better go. Hey, that rhymes. I made a new photo page, so check it out!

I had a lovely Sunday. I slept as late as I wanted, which turned out to be not too late. I bought a sleazy newspaper b/c it had a free CD in it. I read the sleazy newspaper and did the crossword puzzle - not all of it, I'm not a genius! I even cleaned up a bit and did some laundry. Yes, a good Sunday indeed.

I'm still a bit lonely here. I live by myself in a house and I don't really have any friends yet. I have my friends from Northern Ireland who I still text message and have them phone me (I never have credit on my phone, I am broke as a joke), but having friends here would help. I haven't really done a lot to get these friends just yet, I've been putting all my brain energy into work. However, now things are getting started and I can use some of that brain power to make friends. Yippee!

Oh and the day after I fell down the stairs (see below) I had to go to the Emergency Room (aka Accident & Emergency - A&E - you know, like the cable channel ;-) I couldn't afford a stupid cab and had to take the bus which does not go near the door of the hospital so I walked on what turned out to be a sprained ankle. I actually cried a lot b/c I can't take pain at all. Oh, but I got a bandage thingee and felt sorry for myself for awhile, and it slowly healed. I can't seem to come to grips with how clumsy I am. I don't remember always being clumsy. Maybe this is something that started in adulthood. What do you think, Mom?

Hi everyone! Gotta make this quick, I'm in the office of the housing estate in which I live.

I am working at a charity that rewards young people for doing community projects by giving them points and then these points can be cashed in for trips. It seems fine and dandy thus far.

I've gotten to get a better look around Manchester, which has been nice. I am absolutely terrified of the trams, though, and take a little too much caution when crossing the tracks. I should be getting a phone this week, which will be very nice. I fell down the stairs today and was terrified that I would have to wait for someone to come and find me before I could get help!

I'll be getting a roommate soon, though I don't know when. It depends on who they choose, and when that person can move to Manchester, so we shall see.

Well, I best be off, I have to fill out some repair forms to get some bits and bobs fixed in my house. Hope all is well with everyone.

Love,
Sabrina :-)

Well, I have successfully made my way to Manchester, England. I am staying at the lovely home of Sue, one of the people who will be interviewing me this coming week. She is director of the program to which I've applied. It feels like home here. They have been so nice to me. Sue and Nick, her husband (who shares my birthday) have two children; Annie, aged 10 and Tom, aged 14. They have a dog named Simpson, who is so calm; such a contrast to our rambuctious Licorice. Yesterday, me, Sue and Annie went to the mall. It was fun! Tomorrow, Sue and I are going into the office and I will do some volunteering.

The interview will be on Tuesday for two of us, and then I believe the third person has hers on Wednesday and then they will make a decision by Thursday. Then, I will either be staying here in Manchester, or going back to America.

While mostly everything is fine and dandy here, I did have to go to the doctor for a skin infection. It's so gross - I've got impetigo. It all started from a cut on the back of my neck and then it got infected. I got some antibiotic cream and if that doesn't clear it up then I have to go back for some pills. Yucko puey.

Jason was really nice to me before I left Belfast. Knowing that I was having a rough time with the drama about Ronan, work and moving country, he invited me over the night before I was scheduled to leave. Before we walked into his room, he stopped and said, 'this is the last night I'm going to see you' and when I replied, 'yes', he opened the door and I couldn't believe what I saw. I swear to God, it was possibly the most romantic thing I've ever experienced. He had fixed the room up such that there were candles lit in the four corners. Music was playing in the background and well, I nearly burst into tears. Anyhow, you get the idea....

The real knight in shining armour bit comes the next night, though, when I turned up at his house with all my luggage b/c I couldn't get on the plane. Once me and my stuff were safely inside, I did burst into tears and went on about Ronan, and the plane, and easyjet and the taxi driver and blah blah blah. Anyhow, he listened and helped calm me down and let me lie down in his bed (while he was in the living room, people!), carried my stuff upstairs and let me keep more than half of it at his place. Oh and most importantly, he bought me pizza and chips! ;-)

Dude - not going well. I'm in Edinburgh. I got in a car accident. I went to the hospital. I'm leaving Edinburgh tomorrow.

First, I couldn't get on the plane b/c I had too much luggage. I was flying easyjet which is like a bargain basement airline and they only allow like 5 ounces of luggage or something and there were no more flights to Edinburgh that day, so I had to reschedule for the next day. This left me having lug all my luggage across Belfast again and leave some of it behind.

So when I finally did get there, I get into a car accident on the way from the airport to the house in Edinburgh. A lane change gone wrong ended up with the cars colliding on my side. The other car was a big ol' SUV. Ah well. I went to 'Accident and Emergency' and they said I had whiplash and seatbelt injuries and general soft tissue bruising, which is all par for the course in an accident like this one - so basically, I was fine.

Right, well I'm at an Internet cafe b/c I had to book a flight, which is the next part of my story. I am flying to Manchester tomorrow regarding another volunteer opportunity and fingers crossed that things work out better there! The main stress factor in all this is that I now have £6 to my name and well, you can't get a whole hell of a lot for £6.

Anyhow, my time is running low here at the ol' Internet place, but that's how things are going. I know that I'm lucky to even be able to have this experience at all, and I am merely annoyed if nothing else. I may be going home next week depending on how things go in Manchester, but that's okay, b/c I miss Licorice!

Men! I swear, they will be the end of me. What do I have to do to become a nun? I have no idea if Ronan is coming here tomorrow. I don't even know if we're still together. I have no idea what's going on.

I have managed to do a couple of loads of laundry, though, which is helping me along with my goal of packing. I can't believe how much crap I have. I can't believe how soon I am leaving. I keep thinking of all the things I didn't do during my time here in Belfast. I hate feeling that way. I am trying to see the positive, though, in that, while I may not have seen all the touristy things, I have gotten a feel for Belfast that not many people from outside of here get.

Okay, here's a hint for anyone who doesn't know me so well. If you want to get on my bad side, call me psycho. Or crazy or schizo or any variation of the sort. This is a good way to ensure me getting pissed at you. And I won't forget it, either. You see, back in the day, way back in the early 90s, before the Internet, before Mars exploration, even before Justin Timberlake, I was just a normal teenager going about my life with my nice little high school boyfriend. Yes, we were known as a couple back in those days b/c our relationship was practically life long when measured in high school years. Given our inexperience in romantic relationships, we made a lot of bad decisions in our dealings with one another. For example, to win arguments, we would completely break down the other person by twisting the knife where we knew it would hurt most. Now for me, this was a few things, but one of them was crazy, or overemotional, or irrational, or whatever. Now go a little further into my teenage life and you will see the big black hole known as the attack. Now, the attack led to a police investigation and a grand jury hearing. Statements were taken, questions were asked, witnesses were called. Something like this does not stay a secret long in high school land. Especially when witnesses are fellow classmates and you have to turn in your subpoena to the attendance office as your excuse note for why you missed class. There are two ways this helped lead to my psycho complex. 1.) The attacker said I was lying. His defense was based on my being irrational, crazy, overemotional. 2.) When word got out, there were those in school who believed I was lying, and then called me psycho. Oh wait, there's a third. 3.) When I had trouble dealing with the fact that I had been attacked, my sweet high school boyfriend believed I was overreacting and said, "It's been two weeks, you should be over it."

Why am I bringing this up now, you ask? Ronan phoned me today and said that his friends believed I was a psychopath and that if they were him, they would not get near me with a ten foot pole.

Yes, honey, my day was fine, how was yours?

Yippee yi yay! I have passed the 20,000 mile mark! Woohoo! I signed up for American Airlines' Advantage program, which is like the frequent flier thing, earlier this month, and they gave me credit for the flights I had taken since June, and low and behold, I'm almost at Gold Status. Gold is 25,000 miles. I had read about the miles phenomenon and how some people become obsessed with getting more miles, like through their credit card or whatever. I feel like that now, though the only way I can get the miles is to actually fly. I'm looking at easyJet now for flights between Belfast and Edinburgh b/c......drum roll please.....

I'm moving to Edinburgh. Saturday. This Saturday. Why I am looking for flights is b/c Ronan and I are back together. I am hoping that we will be treading many miles between the two countries. The flight is only 50 minutes. However, the trip from Derry to the airport is about two hours. Hey, I didn't say it was perfect. There is also another airline that flies from Derry to Glasgow, and then you can take the train from Glasgow to Edinburgh, so whatever works.

Wow, these pop up ads are driving me insane and I can't believe it's nearing 7 in the morning. I felt a bit overwhelmed by the prospect of staying here, and now a feel a bit overwhelmed with the reality of leaving here. I have so much stuff in my room and so much laundry and yeah, I really need to start packing. Oh dear, I think I'm making myself nervous now.

Ronan is coming here to Belfast on Friday (tomorrow!). I'm so excited. It has been over a month since I've seen him.

Well, I think I'll take a shower now. Don't think I'll get back to sleep. Hope all is well.

Lots of love,
Sabrina ;-)

Today I looked very much like an American. I felt like I was dressing up as an American for Halloween or something - with my tie-dyed Hard Rock Cafe shirt, track suit bottoms, baseball cap, I was the epitome of American gear. I also had my (American) accent back totally for like a day, before the Belfast brogue started slipping back in. As you can tell, I still have my American way of communicating with 'like' and 'totally' and don't even get me started with 'dude'.

In a strange twist of fate, the cab driver I had today remembered me from driving me home like months ago. I didn't remember him, which I usually do, but he remembered I was from Chicago and everything. Interesting.

Peter's friends are here from Germany, so I am the only person in this house right now who is not speaking German. I wish I could. Peter just came in and said something to Eva in German. I knew what he was saying from the context and wished I could reply in German, but I had to settle for English. I know a little bit of a few languages, and there are just some sayings I like in certain languages. For example, "Qu'est-ce qu'il y a?" in French - meaning 'what's wrong?' or 'what's the problem?' In Japanese - "Ohisashiburi desu ne" means "I haven't seen you for ages". The longer you haven't seen someone, the longer you hold out the last syllable (which is pronounced NAY). Pretty cool, huh? Or, German - Geshundheit when someone sneezes. Eva just explained that it means 'health'. The Irish 'Slainte' which also means health, but is a toast when drinking.

I really want to study French again and become fluent. I would really love to study multiple languages. I have been looking more into law school over here and some offer a combo with French. I'm supposed to be able to complete the degree in a shorter period of time since I already have a bachelor's degree. Law, here, is an undergraduate degree.

I spoke with the representative from the volunteer project in England and discussed their organization possibly sponsoring me to volunteer here in Belfast at the Community Centre I like. I also got a message from the Scottish organization to ring them tomorrow so we can arrange my visit. I filled out an application for a Christian peace centre here in Northern Ireland, about an hour away from Belfast. I just want to know if I'm accepted, visit them all, and then choose. Like by the end of this week would be ideal. I feel like I'm just drawing things out here at the Cottage and I'm really, really ready to move on.


********************************
Don't make it a big deal, don't be so sensitive.
We're not playing a game anymore, you don't have to be so defensive.
Sleep to dream - Fiona Apple

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you are like my brothers and get faint by talk of feminine hygiene products, look away now. The Diva Cup is an alternative to tampons and pads. It apparently catches the flow and you just empty it, rinse and reuse. You only use one like forever, apparently. I wanted to see one, but there were no retailers in my area. Has anyone seen this? I didn't want to shell out $25 and get a dixie cup or something! Well, the testimonials sound convincing enough. I came across this from a blog on Metafilter.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Happy Birthday, Adam!

Today is my youngest brother's 22nd birthday.

Did I mention that I dyed my hair red? Yeah, I know my hair is red, but I dyed it like bright red. I was getting comments that I looked more brunette and some even accused of not being a redhead at all. Anyhow, I like the new color; it spices things up a bit.

Now that I am less jet lagged and delirious, I can talk about the journey back over the Atlantic. Where to begin? Well, I had the opportunity to assist a woman who passed out on the plane. This did involve exposing my bra to the people in my cabin, but you don't really care when it is an emergency. I got to see London Gatwick airport, which will hopefully be the last time I see London Gatwick airport. I actually had nightmares about it when I got back to Belfast. I woke up in my sleep screaming "they didn't even have people movers!" Sad, but true. I also started crying while in line at McDonald's waiting for a Happy Meal. It had nothing to do with the Happy Meal, though it did remind me of that scene in "Big Daddy" when Adam Sandler yells, "Can somebody get this kid a Happy Meal?!" Usually, by the time I get to London, I am so tired anyways, and this trip was just more draining than usual, that my emotions got the better of me.

Let's see, what else? Oh I got a movie star style coat that is oh-so-fab. I have got to get a big pair of dark sunglasses so I can look like I'm 'incognito'. ;-)

The weather is so beautiful here in Belfast. My goodness Chicago was cold. I mean, it's winter weather here, but I don't feel like I am going to get frostbite while walking out to the car, as I did at home.

Well, now that I am feeling new and refreshed, I suppose I should start unpacking. Hope all is well with everyone.

Lots of love,
Sabrina ;-)

-------------------------------------------------------------

I have never been so insulted in all my life
I could swallow the seas to wash down all this pride
First, you run like a fool just to be at my side
Now you run like a fool but you just run to hide
and I can't abide

"Sleep to dream" - Fiona Apple

Have an old book or magazine that you're not selling on ebay? Donate it to a library in Zambia. They ask that you put an inspirational message on the inside, if possible.

http://booksforzambia.com/

Okay - total buzzkill about to follow.

During my visit home to America, I learned that people in my hometown don't know about the big Coke Scandal. This really surprised me, as there is much ado about it over here n the UK. This apparently isn't your run of the mill child labor dispute. This actually involves murder.

Good thing I drink Pepsi.

http://www.cokewatch.org

Back in Belfast. Jet lagged and tired. As often as I travel, I always look like a novice and someone asked me one of my flights, 'is this your first time flying?' Anyhow, I am still a bit delirious, but wanted to post. I'm pasting in a post from December 23 (the day before I left Belfast) that I never got around to putting up. Enjoy, and I'll fill you in on all the travel details later. Until then, I'm Pat Sajak.

I watched ‘Fight Club’ last night. That is one messed up movie. I can’t stop thinking about it and I even dreamt of alternative endings for it last night. I already knew the ‘surprise’ at the end, but that’s actually when it got really good – after that was divulged.

More hampers and toys off today. We finished early, about 1:30. I can’t believe I’m flying to America tomorrow. I’m not the least bit prepared. I’m hoping to just have a carry on bag because I don’t need much considering I have a room full of stuff at home anyways. I can’t wait to sort through all of that and get rid of it. I’m donating so much of it and that will feel better.

To get everyone in the Christmas spirit, I’m going to share a song with you that I learned during my time here in Quaker Cottage. Perhaps you have heard of it…
When Santa got stuck up the chimney,
he began to shout,
you girls and boys
won’t get any toys
if you don’t pull me out
my beard is black,
there’s soot on my sack
my nose is tickly too
when Santa got stuck up the chimney,
Achoo, achoo, achoo!

Wasn’t that lovely?

Now if I could only remember the words to Frosty the Snowman….

I can't believe it's already time to go back. I will be leaving my parents' house and America, for that matter in just a couple of days. I'm getting sad b/c my Mom is getting sad and that makes me feel guilty for leaving. I'll miss the puppy loads. I guess I'm just a little nervous, too, since I have no idea where my next project will be - not even the country to which I'll be moving. There are also some things I wanted to accomplish during my time here which I wasn't able to do; - Go to the dentist, donate my stuff, visit certain people, etc. I did go with Angie today to get measured for the bridesmaid dress, so that's a big obligation I managed to fulfill. We went out to lunch at Applebees, and it was oh so yummy. I miss the sit down restaurant atmosphere when I'm away from America.

Last night I started questioning what it is I want to do in life and where it is that I'm going. I've come across setbacks in setting up my non profit organization here in Hammond, and then I started remembering why it was I hadn't done direct services before. I felt I could make a bigger impact by working in policy and advocacy. This reminded me that that's why I want to go to law school, etc. etc. I guess I just have to step back every now and again and refocus. I do want to law school, and I had decided to do that in the UK b/c of finances. I need to find out more details.

Ronan and I began talking again while he was here in America. He is dating someone back in Derry, though, and I haven't really spoken to him since he got back. He said he was going to end things with her and we are supposed to give our relationship another go. I guess I'm a bit apprehensive about that as well, b/c I feel like we still have the same issues we had before and I wonder if we'll both be patient enough this time to work through them. The fact that I may be moving to a different country, however close it may be, may also throw a wrench into our plans.

I guess there are just a lot of variables that I am going to face upon my return and when they're all put together, it seems like a large mountain to climb. There's a whole lot of positive, but there's a struggle to get there.

Mom just gave the puppy, Licorice, a bath and he is running wild in circles around the house. Umm, I think that means he liked it, or umm not, don't know. Well, at least he's not stinky anymore. :-p

Ah, the New Year. I feel like I should be more excited about it being New Year's Eve, or that I should have some resolutions or something in mind. I guess I just feel like Ronan when he told me today, "it's just another day, and there will be another day after that and 364 more after that." I wonder if he feels the same way about Valentine's Day....

Talked to my friend Angie today. I haven't spoken to hear since I moved to Northern Ireland. She lives just around the corner from my parents' house and I've only gotten hold of her today. Her wedding plans are set in motion, and I am to get measured by the dress shop during my time here. The bridesmaids dresses will probably be red, which is awesome, 'cause that's the color I wanted for my wedding dress, so I told Angie I'll just use this dress. Mmmhmm. Now all I need is a city permit to get married at Buckingham Fountain and a groom.

My brother, Adam, and his girlfriend, Becky, got me a $100 gift card from Borders. I went and spent all but $17 of it the other day. I got two CDs - Tracy Chapman, Collection and the Amelie Soundtrack. I got a Lonely Planet Scotland guide and Mom got a book she's been wanting for at least a year, since my aunt recommended it to her. So now I have just enough to go back and have some coffee. Yumm.

Last night, me and the fam went out to dinner at Cracker Barrel. I had the much loved french toast with maple syrup. Mmmm. There's only one place I know of in Belfast where I can get french toast served that way. It's typically not eaten as a sweet dish there. The meal ended with chocolate cobblers almost all around. I didn't realize until after the server left that I was supposed to order one even if I didn't want it so that everyone could have some of mine. Doh!

I spoke to my friend Diana the other day. We used to live in the co-op together. She's still there and was filling me in on all the scoop, but mostly we talked about traveling. She said that everything seemed to be going well for me and congratulated me on what I've done in the past year. It kind of took me back a bit, b/c I feel like I'm always getting slack for the way I'm choosing to live my life, even if it's just for this short period of time. Jason and Ronan wind me up about not having any money and not having a "proper job" and my brothers and Dad get on me about being poor and my Mom just keeps her thoughts to herself these days. The point being, that b/c of that conversation with Diana, I thought, "yeah, everything is going well." And it was nice to not have to defend my actions for once in my life!

Well, little Licorice is stinky as ever as he sits here at my feet chewing on his chew toy thingie. I get hives wherever he licks me and have started showing other symptoms of allergies. He's now not allowed upstairs in my room and I no longer pet him with my hand, I use my foot! Hey, he likes it just the same. There's a humidifier in my room as well which helps a lot. I offered to go home early, but Mom surprised me by saying she'd rather have me here than the dog. Well, the dog is still here, bless his soul.

This article from the Onion is so funny, because we have been begging work for a new mop head, and I can imagine we will have the same reaction if we ever get it!

Home is where the heart is. Which is why this is the place where you can have yours ripped out from your chest.

So here I am, back in good ol' Hammond, Indiana. And of course, I'm overstating things a bit with the above sentence. It's just that after I'm here for about a day, I remember so clearly why I moved away from here, and I'm sure my Mom remembers why she was so glad I left.