I have a few more thoughts about my previous post about wondering how things may have been different had you done this instead of that; turned right instead of left, etc. There is a movie called Sliding Doors with Gwyneth Paltrow that addresses this issue. It shows how her life would have been different if she had missed a train or made the train. Butterfly Effect is another movie that tackles it in an entirely different way. I often think of that film as the epitome of Mike and me. The moral of the story at the end (in the theatrical version) is that these two people just shouldn't be together, ever. The main character keeps going back in time to try and make things right, but each time things end up screwing one person or another until he makes sure that he and this girl never speak again, as early as their childhood.
Anyhow, another real life example that I was thinking about involves Ronan. When I flew back to Belfast after going home for Christmas, I was going to take a bus to Derry, where Ronan lived. He had called me more than once each day while I was at home in America and we were supposed to get back together. He supposedly was breaking up with this girl as soon as he got home (he was also in America) and blah blah blah. So, I'm at the Belfast airport and the bus to Derry is most frequent from there, but before I go, I phone Ronan and tell him that I'm coming. He tells me not to. I tell him if I'm gonna go there to visit it has to be now b/c if I go all the way home from the airport, I'm going to fall asleep for a good day and a half before I can even consider anything. He talks like he's only looking out for my best interest and just wants me to go home to rest, trust him, he says, he just went through that jet lag and it's not fun. I'm a bit peeved, but ultimately listen to what he says and go on home. Next thing you know, I can't get hold of him for four days. He's not answering my calls, he's picking up his phone and hanging up and I have no idea what the hell is going on. It's obvious he's avoiding me, but I was so confused as to why since this whole getting back together was his idea, and he was so keen, calling me in Belfast while he was in America, calling me in America while he was there, and even when he got back. Most often, multiple times a day. After the fourth day, I said forget about it and went to Jason's for a bit of "stress relief". Wouldn't you know it, right on cue, Ronan decides to call and is pissed that I f*cked Jason. Oh yeah, the other reason why I wanted to go to Derry straight from the airport is because I was leaving for Edinburgh, Scotland within the week. It's not like we were going to be close in proximity for much longer.
Ronan said the reason he had been avoiding me was because he hadn't broke up with this girl and he wasn't sure he wanted to, so he was conflicted and avoided us both (mmhmm). He says he decided on me, broke up with her, then called me and I had f*cked Jason. Oops. Win some, lose some.
So, what if I had just gone to Derry from the airport, how would things have turned out? Would it have been better or worse? Same? I don't know, but it's one of those things I wonder about when I think of those times that could have gone either way.
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