I get a lot of ideas from television.

This may seem a bit odd, but I learned a lot about how to act in all types of relationships based on what I have seen on TV. For example, when I was in my first 'real' relationship when I was a teenager, I slapped my boyfriend across the face because that is what I had seen done over and over again to a man who had said something inappropriate or hurtful. Mostly this was in soap operas, but I'm sure you can see what I mean.

I had no idea how I was supposed to act in this relationship. It was my first. I couldn't exactly base it on my Mom and Dad b/c they were just way too old, right? So, TV it was.

Because TV had also shown a good amount of accepted violence towards women, I accepted that as normal as well. When my Mom gasped at the sight of marks on my arms from my boyfriend picking me up and shaking me, I couldn't understand what the big deal was. I'll never forget the clarification in my head when she asked, "what if you saw your Dad doing that to me?" I knew then that it was not right, that it would never be right under any circumstances.

Since then, I have scaled back my television viewing. I didn't even own a television for the past few years. Recently, though, I've caught some shows here in there as I walk into the living room and the TV just happens to be on. I've again started getting ideas. Today, for example, I watched the show 'Bachelor's Walk'. After a woman's weekend trip to Paris with her boss, the man discloses that he kissed another woman while she was away. She, in turn, confesses that she slept with her boss. The man goes ballistic, and after much crying, talking and fighting, he comes up with a solution. They break up for awhile - six months. He can get over this and not torture her and then they can spend the rest of their lives happily ever after. The show then shows four months later, and it seems like this plan will work! It's actually not the only time I've seen this plan done on TV. Though, the other time it was on a documentary.

Anyhow, I got to thinking about me and Ronan. For those who don't know, I kissed Jason when I was with Ronan. He was mad, but forgave me. However, he didn't really get over it which ultimately led to the end of our relationship. Now if this 'break' plan works for the folks on TV, could it work for us? Six months from now will Ronan come and sweep me off my feet all over again? What do you think?

Well, I guess it has a better chance of working than us slapping each other. :-)