American Ronan

I have met the American version of Ronan and he is an asshole. What? You say. How does this differ from Irish Ronan? Well, I can see it so clearly when I’m not blinded my feelings or the novelty of his Irish accent. Twelve years ago this month is when I was first cast under Irish Ronan’s spell.

American Ronan, let's call him "John", and I met online (as did Irish Ronan and I). He was tall and slender, just like Ronan. We were instant messaging each other and when I tell him I'm looking for Mr. Right, he tells me he's more like Mr. Right Now. I tell him that's not what I'm looking for and we are about to go our separate ways when he starts detailing his life story on me. I am really intrigued so I keep asking more questions. At the end he asks if he ever had a shot. A shot at what? No, I told you I don't want to bang, I didn't think talking to you would lead you to believe I'd changed my mind. He basically says I led him on and even worse, made him tell me his life story for nothing. Whatever, he's a douche.

So if this would have been Ronan, I would have felt bad for misleading him and questioned whether or not I was to blame.

Some other things "John" said that prove he is an asshole:

"I'll keep going until two or three seconds after she says stop."

"I do the job of like five people at work, they can't keep me busy enough."

"No condom?"

"Are you this hard on all men?"

Voice mail message: "If it's important, I'll get back with you. If not, don't hold your breath."

"Sometimes I have a silver tongue, or can talk people into what I want."

"I still want something more sexual based instead of emotionally based."

"I want sex, and if friends come out of it, so be it...but I don't want to become a friend and never leave the friend zone."

"I like to have sex with bigger women, but date skinny girls."

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I really don't need to say more about John. I mean, he's an asshole. But what has been so glorious about meeting this asshole is that he has helped open my eyes to the reality of what Ronan is. Some of things John said are the same as what Ronan said, and I can so easily roll my eyes at John and move on but for some reason, leave my heart strings tied to Ronan. Part of it is my love for him. Part of it is the novelty of his nationality. Another part of it is that he reminds me of a time of my life where I was actually living life the way I wanted to live it. I was young and pretty carefree and just moving from country to country without much thought or planning. That's something that I will probably never get back. It's like having Ronan in my life is a connection to that part of my former self.

But that doesn't mean he's not an asshole.