Why oh why am I such a wuss? Why do I even still care? I haven't spoken to Ronan, but I did ring Jason to ask when he was sending my belongings. I did stick to task and did not chat, but oh my heart wrenches. Geez louise, why do I care?

It is such a beautiful day today. I am trying to arrange to get away this weekend. I am overly affected by things right now, including work and homesickness and I just want a break. I am going to the cinema with Hugo on Sunday evening, but I have to fill the rest of my weekend as well.

Today I was just thinking again about how my life seems to keep repeating itself. Same story, different names, faces. The angst I feel over the Ronan & Jason drama is just another one of a series of angsts felt since I was 11 or 12 years old. I just thought, 'am I always going to feel like this?' "Will life always just be a series of highs and lows, of love and hate, of trust and betrayal; over and over and over again?" Will I never find a security of love and happiness that will last for a lifetime?