Surprising Strength

So, perfect example of something that I want to share, but not on facebook; today I was at my friend's house for Memorial Day. We were sitting by a fire in the backyard and this guy would not let up on me. He just kept asking if he could kiss me, whatever. I just flat out said no - repeatedly. Then he asked if I was in a relationship. I said, "Yes, I'm in a relationship with God." He didn't skip a beat and said, "Good, because I'm one of his disciples". Ha, made me laugh. Hadn't heard that one before.

Tonight we also talked briefly about my stint in Edinburgh, Scotland and how badly it went. When I explained that I was going to be living in a home for transitional young men, some were stunned, like, umm, what? But I explained it was just to help with getting to appointments, filling out forms, basically a lot of moral support as well. Then I remembered when I told Ronan (my bf at the time) what I was doing, he was none too happy about it. It had never occurred to me that would be an issue. Anyhow, that's not why it went badly, it was due to other things like not being able to get on the plane due to too much luggage, not being able to get a cab back home, getting into a car accident on the way from the airport, getting fired less than a week into my job (not because of performance, but because of the reference from my past employer that they failed to check before offering me the position and my moving to another country) and then being stuck in an unfamiliar country with no money. Yeah, that pretty much sucked.

The funny thing (or interesting, I guess) is that I didn't give up. I didn't just run back to the United States. I found another position in England, got by on the 5 pounds I had in my pocket for those few days until I could get over there and just started a new job. Unfortunately, after that position came to an end (several months later) and I did find a new one, there were just too many straws on the camel's back and when just one more thing got put on me (harsh words from someone in authority at the position I was leaving), I couldn't bear anymore and I did go back to the USA before my visa was expired. It's weird, though, how that worked out; because I had such amazing relationships with the children I worked with and am even friends with them now on facebook. But had that manager not been such a miserly, miserable hippie, I may not have gotten back in contact with Mike when I did and had that time with him before he died.  There would have always been a hole in my heart had I not been able to have that 'closure' with him. I am so thankful for that.

Sometimes we find out we are stronger than we think are. Dealing with advances from a persistent stranger, with humor even, despite the memories of being raped; Being stranded in a strange country with no money and still not going home; Losing the love of your life and then cleaning out his apartment and office and taking care of his family after his death.