Common Sense

There area few moments during the course of your life that stop you in your tracks-that seemingly come from out of nowhere and shatter your whole system of beliefs. You remember these moments because they were either your innocence lost or shaped the new direction your life would now take.

I have just had one of those moments.

It is a commonly held belief that suicide is not the right thing to do. You will hear poeple talk about how "dumb" it is and some think it is only for the weak. Others hold that is the ultimate act of selfishness. On the tv show, Ghost Whisperer, a survivor tells a suicide ghost, "you hurt for only two minutes, we're hurting for the rest of our lives."

We are all hypocrites.

How many times has someone denounced suicide while smoking a cigarette? Who talks about smokers while eating Big Macs? Who says how foolish it is to neglect your health but hasn't been to a doctor in year? And who says they no longer need this medication, they feel all better now, really.

We are killing ourselves.

I take medication to keep anxiety at baby and suicidal thoughts out of my head. It keeps the knife away from my wriss, but the poisonous food in my body.

I can trust enough to share my body with a man, but not enough to shed the pounds which insulate it.

I can tell my brother to take his insulin, but not my own prescription refilled.

I can talk to a group member about her financial difficulties and then go shopping for frivolous material things.

I can condemn my friend for going back to an abusive man, but keep poisonous men in my own life.

I am a hypocrite. I'm not practicing what I preach. So now, what will I do about it? What will you do about it?

This could end up being one of those life changing moments where from this point on everything is different.

Or it could just be another day. The choice is up to you.